C.D. Romm conducted this interview with J. Doe by snail mail from 1 January 1997 to 31 December 2001.
C.D. Romm: I'm glad to be interviewing you for Bewildering Stories today. How do you feel about this new webzine?
J. Doe: Huh? Webzine? What webzine?
CDR: Bewildering Stories. It's going to premiere in Jaugustuly 2002.
JD: No comment.
CDR: Many people call you "the Master." What do you think about this? What do they mean by "the Master"?
JD: Darn. No comment.
CDR: Is it true that you are a master of writing speculative fiction?
JD: How should I know?
CDR: How many literary awards have you won for your work?
JD: Hold on, let me count. Um . . . darn.
CDR: You have that many?
CDR: When was your first story published, and where did it appear?
CDR: Everyone knows you as "J. Doe," but what is your first name? You only use your first initial. Or is it your middle initial?
JD: It's my first.
CDR: What does it stand for? What's your first name?
JD: Ain't gonna tell ya.
CDR: What's the first letter of it then?
JD: Still ain't gonna tell ya.
CDR: Can I take a guess?
CDR: It starts with a "J." Am I right?
JD: Darn. How'd you know?
CDR: How do you feel being "the Master"?
CDR: Yes, "the Master." That's what many people call you.
CDR: "The Master." Many people call you that. Would you care to clarify this expression for us?
JD: What? There's more than one of you?
CDR: Yes. I am doing this interview for Bewildering Stories. It's a webzine.
JD: Um . . . they call me "the Master" because . . . because I am the Master of Procrastination. Haven't sold a single story. Haven't even written a single story. I procrastinate too much. Can we end this stupid interview already?
CDR: Of course. Thank you for agreeing to this interview, and best of luck on your future projects.
Copyright © 2002 by C.D. Romm and Bewildering Stories.