The following has been received from a correspondent in Britain who wishes to remain anonymous. She works in a long-range planning office of the British government and has connections in the intelligence services. The most we are at liberty to reveal is that they apparently do not include MI-6, James Bond's outfit.

The report is couched in mysteriously oblique terms: it starts in medias res with a reference to a satirical article, and the film scenario for "teaching the Bible" may be a clever cover for a leak of information about top-secret experiments. The scenario it suggests may be science fiction or futurology. Take your pick.

The author in question is William Sierichs, Jr., who wrote the article, "Christian Cinema" for the New Orleans Secular Humanist Association. On the other hand, Mr. Sierichs's proposal does strike an attractive ploy for teaching the Bible. My favourite: Leviticus 11:20 -- All the winged insects that walk on all fours are detestable to you. (New Revised Standard Version, 1989).

My vision is of monstrous flying insects which have evolved from mosquitoes and now have four legs instead of six, owing to genetic experiments by a mad scientist, who thought he could control them by using salt water in his breeding pools.

The experiments go awry, as expected, and the huge monsters break out of their enclosure and escape. Having a preference for salinity, they find a haven in the ocean near Japan, where their forty-foot-long larvae begin attacking cruise ships.

When fighter aeroplanes attempt to destroy them, the larvae disappear from sight and an eerie calm prevails. Suddenly an undersea earthquake roils the ocean, and then adults rise to the surface, take flight, and assemble into a deafening buzzing squadron. Quite naturally, they head for Tokyo, where all monstrous creatures go, from Godzilla onwards. Like all other such creatures, they demonstrate a dietary preference for beautiful women.

Interspersed through the film are the political rivalries, terrorism, evil axis, environmentalists, PETA, etc. Let no stone go unturned, to quote an expression which is used fourteen times daily in Parliament.

Now you have the best of all worlds: Moses, war, love story, Titanic, science fiction, dinosaurs, politics, save the environment, and global warming, with anti-death penalty advocates taking up a new position to defend the oversized mosquitoes.

I'm quite pleased with it, actually.

[name withheld by request]