He worked at the North American food restaurant at Sap Sap Town. North America itself hadn’t had Sap Saps or their cuisine for generations, but the style survived in restaurants like his. Although he served dishes that never would have been prepared in North America. Like Southern Fried Chicken, including the bones, served with pickles and onions in a hamburger bun. The natives of Kaihuata didn’t understand the separation of North American styles, but they did know that they liked the sound of the bones crushing under their large molar-like teeth. He enjoyed that tipping well was a point of honor to them.
Indeed of all the worlds in the League the Kaihuata had been in general the most friendly to his people. They did followed the exclusion acts to the letter, and some individuals among them could be quite nasty, but they gave as much rights as allowed. People like him could vote, go to school, and could even father children with a licence. They had been prohibited from serving office or teaching, but that had been a League rule that could not be opposed. Still Kiwake’Vin, who he called Kevin, had arranged it so he could visit his wife and family on Mars without losing citizenship. This had technically not been legal, but had been the kind of thing Kevin did. So in some ways he had it good; well, most of the time. This obviously won’t be one of those times, or we would have no story.
The lady came in with little fuss at first. She simply ordered a soda and put on her specs. He figured she must be some kind of broker or something. He took an almost instant dislike to her. She did not tip at all, never ordered more than a soda, and would sometimes use the seat for hours. He eventually began charging her for refills, although he knew his uncle would not approve. The only good thing about her had been she left him alone. However even that didn’t last.
She startled him by asking him, “You are male. Correct?”
He had been asked this question before, but from her it annoyed him. “Isn’t it obvious I’m a man?”
She frowned. “Don’t be impertinent. You are a male not a Man. Ladies and Gentleman are products of the engineering, people like you are not. Did they not teach you this in school?”
He restrained the urge to spill soda on her, but in reality he had heard much worse. “Yes, My Lady, I know a good deal of history. Now do you wish a refill?”
“No, I don’t think so. You charge far too much for refills here and the phosphoric acid content in your soda is excessive.” Then she stopped and gave an odd look: “Do you like it here?”
“What do you mean, in this restaurant?”
“Well, yes, that; but I mean the whole planet.”
He sighed, “It’s all right, it’s better than I’d live with your people.” Then instantly regretted that slipped out.
She suddenly looked thoughtful, which had been a first for her. “You know your ancestors did choose to stay as little more than apes, but sometimes I do wonder if maybe we punished you too much for your decision.”
This made him slightly uncomfortable, as if he had become a specimen or a zoo animal to her. Not all Ladies were like that, but he still had to admit he preferred ET’s to them. He’d be the first to concede that might be bigoted, but to her he gave a simple “Your drinks come to $5.29”
“How charming that you even use that system here,” but she said it with no enthusiasm. She paid then left. However while leaving he noticed a vaguely sad look on her face.
He did not see her for weeks and had been glad of it. Soon after the Commonwealth of Mankind came making demands on the League. He had no love for either, but feared that war would affect his life and business. Or worse yet would come to Mars, as Earth had been reserved for Mankind alone. So he tried to follow the news but had trouble understanding what the disagreement concerned. It seemed to concern differences of opinions about how to enter the data stream and chronological research. Why that would cause war he had no idea. So far the upshot had been a bunch of Mankind customers who treated him like a favored pet. Not that bad.
As negotiations worsened she came back
“I’ll have a cheese pizza, soda, and bread sticks,” she said calmly.
Some how this order seemed both unexpected and ominous. Worse, her specs were gone. “What’s the occasion?” he asked.
She looked at him sadly, “I’m leaving, got to get back to work on the higher levels of time and thought.”
“Yeah, okay. I was worried this might have to do with a war coming.”
She looked annoyed. “You simpleton, of course it means there will be a war. Don’t you know the point of researching the higher...” then stopped “No of course you don’t, poor creature. I just hope they don’t kill you.”
War, there was going to be war and she still had time to patronize him “Look you, I may not be able to know what you know, but my people remember all the things you lost. Why else would you come to this stupid place?”
She gave him a look. “I came here to make you an offer. My government is willing to relocate you unmodified people and give you a home world.”
“And you are giving this offer to a waiter?”
“Don’t be an idiot. I could care less about you, but you are connected to the dissident Kiwake’Vin. He is connected to most Sap Sap Towns.”
“Why not just tell him yourself?”
“And expose him? Don’t be stupid.”
“Fine, but what do we have to do for this generous offer? Become your cannon fodder?”
She gave him an angry look. “No. We are doing this out of the kindness of our hearts. Just pass the message.”
Looking out on a burning planet to an uncertain future. He couldn’t help but feel that he was somehow betraying something. His friends, his world for over a decade...
His wife came up to him. “Forget it Bob; it’s Sap Sap Town”
Copyright © 2003 by Thomas R.