Paulo Arraes came from Earth and wanted no part of it. He had little interest in marriage at that point in his life and even if he did the lack of female Miners had been greatly exaggerated. That combined with legalized polyandry meant if a miner wanted marriage he did not need to condone mass murder.
Still the Gabrielists and the Miners both insisted he be a part of it. If one chooses the life of a Martian, you must experience their ways. Refusing the request would be rude and create tensions the small population could ill afford. Further by seeing it, one old woman told him, maybe he could more effectively condemn it.
So he went to their commune to “celebrate” the Winnowing. To his surprise their men and women both seemed happy. They danced and sang. The women flirted with the miners as had been traditional since the terra forming collapsed. Yet he noticed a tall long haired woman who seemed completely miserable.
He came up to her “So you aren’t happy about this either”
She gave him a look “Oh I’m very happy. Tomorrow we do our little song and dance, then I can leave this idiotic cult forever.”
She said it loud enough to be heard, but to his surprise the Gabrielists seemed uninterested “So you don’t like this way of life?”
“What’s not to like? You get taught from birth God hates you, except of course someday he may forgive your distant descendants. Only the female ones would be forgiven mind you. For the men their taught to fill their breeding quota until they’re castrated. Oh but if they’re real lucky they get to be murdered in this colorful cultural display.”
He smiled despite himself.
“I’m glad my misery amuses you. Maybe tomorrow when every man I ever knew dies it will give you a chuckle. From what I hear your men get some kind of Darwinian kick out of it.”
“No, it’s not that. I’m from Earth. I was smiling because it’s good to hear from someone who finds this as horrid as I do.” he added “My name is Paulo”
She gave him a stare “Mine’s Catherine. So why did you leave Earth for this awful place?”
He sighed “Earth has problems of its own right now. The economy tanked, their’s anarchy in the South, and repression in the North. Stuff that makes even this deal seem tame. By the way what did you mean by ‘Darwinian’ kick out of it?”
She seemed a bit calmer if still bitter. “They get to know their potential male rivals die so their genes can be the ones propagated. We’re taught the miners don’t know that our men die, but that’s preposterous. Sure they can’t see it, but even on Earth they know why it’s called the Winnowing. I think it’s part of the turn-on for them.”
“Well that may be a bit unfair. I work with these guys and some of them really disapprove of this custom, they just don’t think they have any power to make you stop it. They could just not come, but if they didn’t take your people in after it, you’d be homeless.”
“I guess that’s true in a way,” then she smirked “See that guy making out with Sarah; he certainly seems broken up about it.”
He laughed then for some reason asked, “Where’d you get this wonderful cynicism?”
Her answer surprised him. She looked suddenly softer “I remember as a girl praying to Gabriel, and sometimes in my heart I felt her with me. Somehow I knew this wasn’t what she wanted. That all of it’s wrong. The Miners, the Gabrielists, and from what you say maybe even the Earth people. Since I could never figure what would be right, cynicism seemed to be the way to go.”
He grew quiet. That a deeply spiritual, if somewhat perplexing, outlook inspired her cynicism was not something he expected. It certainly wasn’t where any of his cynicism came from. That he was falling in love with her deeply disturbed him, as it seemed a betrayal of his commitment not to be taken in by this idiotic ritual. After all this could all be an act to win the Earth man’s sympathy.
The next day though he saw her aerobatics and watched her cry. He still had doubts, but as the months went by they evaporated. They married in the winter.
* * *
She was one of the first of them to get pregnant. It’s not that she had done so quickly; her marriage was in fact five Martian years old. Most of them though put off having children for varied reasons. They had trouble adjusting to their new life, they had put off marriage, they wanted to gain importance in the community first, or they were just too old. However she had settled rather quickly into a middle class Martian life. She had a good job in medicine her husband did well in dealing with Earth in trade deals. Although to confirm his loyalties, and for other reasons, he enounced Earth citizenship.
She felt settled enough to consider something that would shock her former peers and perhaps her husband too.
“I’m thinking of going to Church.” she informed him.
He seemed confused “I thought you considered all that stuff to be wrong.”
She seemed hesitant “That’s true, but one of the women at the clinic talked about in a way that piqued my curiosity.”
“In what way?”
She explained “They raised me to believe God abandoned us and that we’d outgrow the need for males as a species. So hearing about a loving God who cares about all people is kind of appealing. Or in least I’m interested in seeing how that works.”
“You’ve lived here for years, surely you’ve seen people like that before?”
“Of course, some of the yahoos that were there when we met claimed to be Christians.” but she added “She seems different though and I’d like to learn why.”
“What Church is she of?” he asked.
“The African Moravian Church.”
He thought about it. “Yeah, I know them from Earth. They did some good stuff, kind of a small group. I didn’t know Mars had any.”
“They have two Churches with about 100 people total.”
He considered “As long as I don’t have to go knock yourself out.”
She looked odd for a second, but then said “No, of course not. I’m just checking it out myself. If it turns out I like it, would you mind if I joined?”
“Why would you want to do that? You already saw what religion can bring.” Sometimes he baffled her.
“I’m not like you, I do want to believe in something that feels right. If this feels right to me, would you really be so offended?”
He thought about it. He didn’t really need to believe in things that way. Oh he had things he believed in, but not in that way. Still he knew she had this spiritual need. Maybe even a religious need. He also knew that despite adjusting well to her new life, a dark cloud still hung over her. Maybe this could help her, and even if it seemed idiotic to him he didn’t have the right to deny it. Besides she was no passive little woman, if she wanted to do it she would. “No, why would I be offended? Just don’t baptize the kid without telling me or anything.”
She smirked “Don’t be silly, I checked they don’t even require infant baptism.”
* * *
The educational system lay in shambles. Meaning the information system that educated her son kept repeating the same thing over and over again. How many times can you hear about the nuking of Seoul before you go batty? Four proved more then enough for them both.
“The rebels have taken Sao Paulo.”
“Seems like some poor city is always under attack down there, which one’s Sao Paulo?” then she went to her son John “No dear the alternate grid won’t fix it. It’s just going to... See, now it’s in Korean. At least I think that’s Korean. I guess that would be appropriate.”
He got a bit angry. “It’s the town I came from, remember. Don’t you know what this means?”
“Okay, I got it in Portuguese, you understand that one, but it’s still repeating.” She then turned to her husband “Not necessarily, what does it mean?”
“That my brother could die. Damn it, could you in least pretend to have that Christian compassion you’re supposed to have now?” He seemed frazzled.
She cooled. “John, go upstairs and read the books on 23rd century Asia. I have to talk with your father.”
“But Mom those books are so old they’re made of paper. Do you know how disgusting that stuff feels and what it’s made of?” John seemed visibly disgusted, or he seemed like an adolescent being impertinent. Take your pick.
“As old as those books are you know very well their made from synthetics and use intelligent ink. Do you really think I’d have something made from a tree in this house? Now go.” And he did so grudgingly.
“Don’t insult me in front of the boy like that,” she added, more concerned. “I thought you told me your brother lived in Santiago?”
He calmed a bit “He moved back home after the earthquake destroyed it. I guess I thought I told you.”
She calmed as well “Okay could you tell me which rebel group took the city, and why they’re worse than what came before?”
“Their some kind of odd technocrats. They have a list of activities and books they consider regressive. If a person is caught with them, they’re shot.”
“Sounds strange, but you’re brother had wanted to come to Mars with you and is an AI specialist. I think he’d be acceptable,” she told him.
“I wish you had the level of cynicism you once had. These peoples care less about technological progress than repressing what they deem backward. My brother reads William Blake and collects mechanical clocks. That’s enough to put him in danger,” he explained.
She began to understand, “Sometimes I think Earth is crazier than here. Is there anything we can do?”
“They’re on the verge of Civil War. If that happens, I won’t even have a job here. Then there’ll be no way at all,” he said despairingly. Then explained: “That’s why I’m going there.”
That alarmed her, “How would that help?”
He frowned “I knew some of the rebel leaders in college. At the time they just seemed like dorks, but maybe they’ll allow me to get him out. In any case I have to try.”
She looked coldly “What about us?”
“I’ll get it done as quick as I can, and we’ll stay in constant communication,” he added “This is important to me, I’ve supported what’s important to you.”
She considered, “We should all go.”
“No, these guys are militant atheists. They would kill you for just setting foot in their city. Besides he’s my brother, and I might not be here without him.” For some reason he cruelly added “You can’t understand what that’s like, but it matters a great deal to me.”
In her most icy voice she responded, “Indeed, how would I know what that’s like.” However he didn’t really hear her. He packed his bags that night and told John good bye.
* * *
He looked at her laying across from him and smiled. She smiled back for a bit, but then the smile faded. After a few seconds she told him “This was a mistake, I better go.”
“Why?”
She just flat out said it: “We’ve been apart too long. Going back just isn’t possible.”
He glared: “Who’s fault is that? You were the one who left.”
“You left long before I did. That quick trip lasted six Earth years,” she countered.
He dressed, “I came back as soon as I could, but I won’t apologize for that.”
“If anyone deserves an apology it’s our son.” She seemed to regret it almost instantly.
“I paid for his education, I talked with him as much as possible, and I made it where he could know his uncle.” He then added, “If you had a brother could you have let him die?”
“I did let him die” she told him. At first with defiance, but gradually with misery. The old misery came back to her.
“What, what do you mean? The Gabrielists don’t have families in that way. You told me so.”
“My Dad fathered twins. That meant he had no kids before or after. Twins are extremely rare because they don’t like that to happen. Still, as full siblings we had the same parents, so for novelty they raised us.” She added, “Unlike me, John loved their ways. He looked forward to going to Heaven to become a woman. I guess he got his wish, lately I think he was the lucky one.”
He was moved, “Don’t say that. You couldn’t have saved him, and besides your life shows you were the lucky one.”
“No it hasn’t. It certainly hasn’t of late”
“We can get it all back” he suggested hopefully.
She looked at him sadly, “No, we can’t. Even if we could I’m not sure it was ever that great to begin with. I need a fresh start.”
He seemed annoyed. “Why?”
She just looked at him with pity. “I just do. I can’t even see you without thinking of pain. Maybe it’s weirdly seductive pain at times, but pain nevertheless.” she added “Sign the documents when you can.”
* * *
An old woman sits on a bench admiring birds. She had lived in Galileo for about 20 years, but when she first came flocks of birds had been rare. The Technocracy of Earth though brought them in. They ate dirt or rocks and in theory their guano changed the soil. It was one of their “Space Age Future” efforts to fix the terraforming of Mars. Its success seemed uncertain, but few cared. Of all the things the Technocracy threatened to do, the birds were the only thing they delivered on, and most felt relief at that.
She had been hesitant to meet her first husband. Since him there had been two others. The last one had been a successful marriage, but he recently died when his neural implants degraded. Still for over a decade they’d been happy and she’d managed a level of peace.
To her annoyance he hadn’t aged a day. He had no objections to rejuvenation, and no allergies to it either. Yet somehow he seemed the older of the two.
“How long’s it been?” he asked.
“Just two years. We met when John went to Earth to join the Technocracy.”
He nodded. “He thought being part of it might change it. Wonder what gave him that idea.”
She smiled, “You’ve done a good deal for yourself. Kept the Technocrats at bay, been a hero to Martian autonomy. Your brother’s almost made you a legend.”
“It’s all hype. Earth barely had the resources to bring the birds, let alone repress our system. I did nothing. I didn’t even stop them from persuading the Gabrielists to add genetically diseased women to those killed in the upcoming Winnowing,” he told her mournfully.
“Don’t worry about that, they allow few females to be born ‘imperfect’ Also don’t be modest, you’ve done good work.” she tried to complement.
He changed the subject, “You’ve done better. The Reverend was a good man, and I’ve read Mara’s books. She’s a fine writer.”
She smirked. “They are their own people, I didn’t do those things. Mara barely speaks to me in fact, she thinks I’m too old-fashioned.”
He shook his head, “Still in least you had a successful relationship, in least you’re happy.”
She frowned. “I’m happy I guess, but your life matters more. You’ve done good, and you have many years ahead of you. I don’t.”
He nodded, “I guess that’s so. I haven’t seen you for years, but somehow I’ll miss you.”
“Well I’m not dead yet. Tell me do you forgive me?” she pleaded.
“There’s nothing to forgive” he told her. Together they watched the birds.
The next year she died.
Copyright © 2003 by Thomas R.