Bewildering Stories

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Our readers write...

Deep Bora

Deep responds to Amir Tuteja’s amusing article about differences in English between India and North America; the article appeared in the Hindustan Times: “Call, Don’t Ring.” Deep adds some personal comments I thought you might enjoy. We can have a genteel conversation — “coffee sipped in a light vein” — with a contributor who has lived in places that I suspect few of us have ever visited. And we may get a new perspective on the engaging and good-humoured author of Deep’s stories. Deep has kindly permitted us to share his letter with you.

Hello Don!

Thanks for sending the essay quoted from one of the leading newspapers of India. Mr. Tuteja, incidentally, happens to enjoy that intercontinental delicacy which few people experience. After all, a thirty years stay in America means one is definitely American! However, his choice of words explains little...

You know, Don, there is a vast language difference from North(Kashmir) and South (Kerala) and again West (Maharashtra Mumbai) to East Assam, Mizoram, etc. Having practically lived in those states I can understand the different state languages and various dialects but I cannot expect that from everybody. As an example, Kashmiri language does not work in Assam which thrives in Assamese language.

Well, the first time I spoke with Miss... from U.S.A. and now a resident of San Paulo, in Brazil, the first thing I told her was “I can’t wear neckties ‘cause I’ve got necking problems.”

She looked at me coolly and her gaze was clear: not like the average coy, demure and reserved Indian girls. My friend standing next to me wondered what it was all about, particularly because she had walked up to me and introduced herself few minutes earlier near the state zoo. “You know, neckties are very formal; and these collars are so...”

“Uncomfortable?” she asked, overhelmed. Later, she continued of spirits and black magic, rituals and stuff which even my cousin sisters knew of. Evidently, she did not practice such things now. “No. It is not necessary to do all that black magic now. I’m older now.” She managed confidently. Little did she realise she was conversing to the past master of Tantra and Mantra — two different and original forms of “magic”

Her fiery gaze scanned mine for any tell-tale signs of scorn, disbelief and amusement, and then, moments later... well, her open, extrovert, honest and trusting American-woman nature revealed itself.

Here, I mean to say “necking” is a term which was applicable during the “drive-in” days in U.S.A. The term is comprehensible even today amongst the average American teens, yet in the present days of the internet and mobile phones — you know, the kids are busy sms-aging other kids perhaps halfway across their towns or to other cities. The latest British and American survey explains that sms and text messaging is the kids’ favourite hobby. Equally, too, in India.

Whew, the world is fast getting smaller.

Mr. Amir Tuteja has made a fine example of “coffee sipped in the light vein.” You know... morning tea or coffee sipped with a relish; an armchair and the newspaper!

Continuing on to my American girl friend... The time I suggested she foot the bill in a coffee shop “cause I had scarce dough on me...” she again fixed me with one of those intelligent yet honest stares. A second later I continued: “I didn’t bring no ‘bread’ with me!”

“Oh.” Her purse flicked open and the bill paid in a flash. She knew I was kiddin’, for it was I who put in a couple of, well... blue and brown hundred-rupee notes into that ‘delicate’ purse of hers. Later, she converted her c-notes... the hundred-dollar green notes, and paid me back. Oh you know, one requires to go over to any bank in India and ask for money conversion procedures. Much later and after that first meeting, she was particular in paying for everything when she went out with me. It seemed she was dating me! Not me to her. I was writing “The Twilight Zone” at the time and decided to include her as the lead role heroine.

Warm regards,

Deep


Copyright © 2003 by Deep Bora

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