All Manner of Broken Things
by Shauna Checkley
part 1
Leah stared into Lexi’s grey-blue eyes, the colour of waves, and wondered what her seven-year old daughter was thinking. Lexi was her only child, and mother had been quite adept at reading her moods; lately, though, things had been otherwise.
“Are you lonely?” Leah queried, “Are you missing Marissa?”
“I wanna see Mar-Mar,” the child said.
Lexi nodded. She looked at her feet that were clad in pink and aqua and orange mermaid socks. Her toes wiggled.
Exhaling, Leah said, “Maybe we can have a sleepover this weekend or sometime soon.”
Marissa had been Lexi’s best friend and the only other child in the building except for an immigrant family that kept mainly to themselves. However, Marissa and her family had recently relocated to the far south end for work, but it rendered get-togethers somewhat difficult.
Lexi was curled up on the chestnut-brown love seat adjacent to her mother. Retrieving her IPAD, Lexi began to play games on it. Minecraft. Roblox. Things that Leah had difficulty even keeping up with, let alone understanding.
“You don’t have homework or anything, do you?” her mother asked.
The child shook her head.
Lexi had blonde hair pulled back behind one ear and was missing her baby teeth. Leah had been told many times that they resembled one another, and that Lexi was already the “spitting image” of her at age seven.
The girl had a habit of sticking two fingers in her mouth. It seemed a nervousness had overtaken her as of late with Marissa moving away and her daddy put out of the house.
Dave, her father, was addicted and mentally ill. There was no other alternative but to have him placed into a Care Home for those with a dual diagnosis.
Good, she’s settled in, Leah thought, observing the child in deep concentration. Leah quickly reached for her laptop. Seated on the gray sagging couch that was a mismatch to the loveseat, she sank down in it somewhat.
Leah returned to the manuscript that she had been working on: a paranormal romance thriller novel, “Dragon Paramour.” It was what she did when she got off her 9-5 job as an office clerk. Just getting off work as the Saskatchewan light was waning, she tried to hurry home and beat the traffic.
Though she sometimes felt vaguely guilty over the attention that she paid her tome, Leah told herself that it was just a hobby and that everyone’s entitled to a much-needed outlet. So, this is what I do, what of it? she thought.
They were both engrossed, Lexi constructing whole buildings and settlements, while Leah writing about the machinations of a jealous, randy dragon. It was typical of how they spent their evenings. That is, until eight o’clock rolled around.
“Okay: time for your bath and brushing your teeth.” Leah announced, closing her laptop.
Once finished, Lexi retreated to her bedroom, not bothering to bid her mother good night.
Leah knew it was because of the recent split with Dave. It was devastating to the child, had broken both her heart and soul, as if a sudden shadow had darkened her existence.
Taking matters in her own hands, mother knocked on the door and went in. “Can I get a hug good night?” Leah asked softly.
Lexi shrugged but didn’t move.
Leah went over and rumpled her hair and kissed her on the cheek. “Sweet dreams,” Leah said, flicking the light off.
* * *
Pearl stirred her big pot of chili. I’ll have this sucker tomorrow, she thought. She was a stout woman with long grey hair in a ponytail down her back. Her face was crisscrossed with wrinkles. Her eyes were big and cornflower blue.
Breaking into a hacking fit, she set her cigarette into a nearby Coca Cola ashtray. Janis Joplin wailed in the background. Norman the cat slunk from room to room, mewling.
She shut off the element and removed the pot, placing it onto a different element so it wouldn’t all burn up. Chili was one of her favourite dishes, and she had it often.
The tiny apartment was quite smokey, and so she opened the her only window. The light, now weak, was a filmy streak.
Below her, the busy street was awash with noisy traffic, pedestrians darting about like insects. Dumb stooges, she thought. She was content with her beer and smokes and Janis Joplin.
As really what else did you need? She lived her life though, occasionally, misgivings crept in. Still, she kept all deeper thought at bay for the most part.
* * *
Under her Ariel bedspread and surrounded by the mermaid motifs in her bedroom, Lexi was warm, but she ached inside. Her world had been turned upside down. Marissa had moved. Daddy was gone. But it was really the latter that had affected her with such a sweeping, cutting finality. She didn’t understand the talk of mental health and addictions. She just knew that she loved her handsome, charming daddy with a pride and depth that was nearly overwhelming. She had cried herself silly, cried herself to sleep so many times that she lost count.
It was bad enough when her beloved hamster, Smuckers, had died. Then his small box acted as a coffin with a popsicle-stick cross on it.
But this loss was something totally different. This was family, a father, after all. Even though some of the other kids at school made fun of their daddies, she did not; she was a daddy’s girl, always had been.
Now, she just wanted to be like that mermaid on her bedroom walls and float off. Her bedroom sported a distinctly undersea vibe. Daddy and I will swim away together. Yes, that’s what we’ll do. She mused on ways to do that until she finally fell asleep and dreamt.
* * *
After a thrown-together supper of grilled cheese sandwiches and Campbells tomato soup, they did the dishes. Mother washed while daughter dried.
“Can we see if Marissa can come over?” Lexi asked
“Not tonight.”
“Please! What else am I going to do, then?”
Reaching for her phone, Leah dialed. But there was no answer, voice mail only.
Lexi groaned.
“Can I visit Pearl then? She always wants to see me.”
Only wanting to work on her all-important novel, Leah knew that she was caving in to her daughter. But she judged that it wouldn’t hurt for just one more night. She told herself: I’ll spend time with her and Marissa on the weekend. The words had grown in frequency as of late. Leah convinced herself that this time she would keep the promise.
But, before she could ruminate much on the matter, Lexi had already slipped out the door and was down the hall to Apartment Zero. The child could hear music blasting as she approached the front door. Smoke billowed out.
With her arms akimbo, wearing a plain black dress with a longish gray shawl, Pearl stood at the door. “Well, if it isn’t my very favourite person!” Her voice was like sandpaper, and she sounded like she could belt out a blues tune or two.
Lexi beamed.
“Come on in! I’ll get you a nice big bowl of chili!”
“Ya! I just had Campbells tomato soup.”
“Aww, let’s get you some chili. And I bought a set of mermaid dishes for you too!”
“Thank you,” Lexi said, giggling.
They ate together. Fresh hot buttered buns. Homemade exquisitely flavorful chili. Even though she had just eaten, Lexi’s appetite was renewed.
By now, Pearl had shut the music off and opened the window wide to air it out. Her apartment quickly became remarkably pleasant. Light poured in deeply, like a presence unto itself.
Lexi liked it there. She liked Auntie Pearl. The place felt like a home away from home. It was all cushions and throw rugs, and Pearl had a black cat, Norman, that was against all rental rules. But Pearl kept him there defiantly.
Still, there were even more personal reasons as well. As her own aunties and grandmother were either not interested or lived far away, Pearl was an adult figure that was always there and paid attention to her. For Lexi, life had become a game of substitutions, one she was scrambling to learn how to play. Was it like one of the card games that she and Pearl liked to play?
She just didn’t understand how Pearl could smoke and drink so heavily when the same thing got her daddy into so much trouble. Yet she knew that adults could be strange like that. Even at school, some students seemingly got off easy while others did not.
After eating, the big woman cleared away the dishes. Auntie Pearl never put Lexi to work. Then they played cards at the kitchen table. Norman curled up on the table between them and purred softly.
“Go fish” Pearl said.
Lexi did.
They played until a knock came at the door, and Leah retrieved her daughter.
“Good night,” they all bade one another.
* * *
In bed that night, Leah worried that she was ignoring Lexi too much. Lexi is on her IPAD all the time, and she’s replaced Marissa with Pearl, who is somewhat sketchy, at best. That smoking and drinking: how is it any better than Dave’s, anyhow?
Leah vowed to do better, something she had been promising herself for some time. Should I just stop writing? Should I kick “Dragon Paramour” to the curb? But she loved writing escapist fiction: the claws and tails, smoke and fire, plunging into faraway strange worlds and unspeakable lands. Rolling over in bed, she fought to arrive finally at a fitful sleep.
* * *
Copyright © 2025 by Shauna Checkley
