All Manner of Broken Things
by Shauna Checkley
Part 1 appears in this issue.
conclusion
Pearl, however, partied all night. A retired janitor, she slept in, then she would stay up late, following her own natural circadian rhythm. It was what she had been unable to do all her working years. The one thing she did was turn down the music. Don’t want the cops here again, she mused. That last time had not been pretty, and she winced at the memory.
She sipped some white wine and watched the late news. Norman curled at her feet, occasionally licking her bare, painted toes. Pearl fluffed up the earth-tone cushions under her.
I sure like my neighbours, Pearl thought, especially that sweet little girl. Pearl just wished her own family were so understanding and forgiving.
She was Eunice Lois Jones. She had rebranded herself “Pearl” after her favourite artist of all time. Janis Joplin. She wore thrift-store clothes, often funky and flared, and was told that for being sixty-eight years old, she looked pretty good. She knew otherwise. Liquor and tobacco had taken their toll on her; there was no denying it.
When Pearl stared into her full-length mirror, she could hardly recognize the wizened old crone looking back at her. Where was that fresh-faced young girl of yesteryear, the one with the cute turned-up nose and freckles on her shoulders? She shuddered to think. But she just put it out of her mind, along with a lot of other things.
She yearned for lost connections. Any bonds, really. She had a son who was furious at her over her partying and forbade his own three children from seeing their grandmother. That the root of her unravelling was the fact that she had been molested by her stepfather didn’t matter to the family. They sided with the offender who, having recently passed away, couldn’t even be brought to justice.
Instead, Pearl opted to exist in isolation, addicted, traumatized, alone. I’ll get through it. she had told herself years earlier and, for the most part, she had survived.
* * *
When Leah dialled Marissa’s again, her mother answered.
“Hey, Michelle. This is Leah.” There was a pause.
“Good, good. Things are all good.” Another pause.
“How are things with you guys? Hope you’re settling in okay.”
Leah spoke with the cellphone cradled in the crook of her neck while she stirred a pot of vegetables. Lexi tugged at her mother’s blouse impatiently.
Leah frowned at her.
“Ya, listen, Lexi is desperate to see Marissa for a playdate. Is there any chance we can get together this weekend?” Pause.
“Oh, you’re out of town. That’s too bad. Well, call when you’re around, and then we can get together.” Pause.
“Okay talk to you later then. Bye now.”
Leah shook her head.
Lexi burst into tears and wailed. “But I want to see Mar-Mar! I do!”
“But they’re gone this weekend, so nothing can be done about that. We will find other things to do. Don’t worry.” Then Leah said: “We could go to a movie or to the art gallery or somewhere”
“Boring!” Lexi spat.
She stormed to her bedroom. Though she had few behaviour issues, she had had some as of late with all of the disruptions in her life. Daddy. Mar-Mar. Everything.
Leah thought about following her but then decided to just let the child be. She needs to learn her own mind and how to regulate her emotions. Though Leah did make a mental note to phone the school and get her into see a counsellor. Maybe that might help, Leah thought.
* * *
I hate mommy! the child raged inside. She ruins everything. She sent daddy away. She keeps saying Mar-Mar will come, but she never does. It’s all mommy’s fault.
Staring at her oversized shell night light, Lexi was transfixed by the glow. Lexi looked around her bedroom and fixed her gaze at a mermaid decal on her wall. It showed a mermaid who had cartoonish features and long, red hair flowing down her back. Her tail was shimmering shades of green, turquoise and purple. I’m going to swim away! That’s what I’m going to do!
When the weekend came, Leah said, “Would you like to go somewhere or do something?”
Lexi shook her head and shouted, “I’m going to Auntie Pearl’s to make peanut butter cookies. She said we could do that when we were playing cards.”
“I suppose,” Leah said, though she was partly hurt by the scornful response. Well, it will free me up to work on my manuscript. She was nearing the end and was hurrying to wrap things up in the hope that it would make life easier all around, especially on the home front.
* * *
As Pearl and Lexi worked, the light of day poured through the kitchen blinds. They worked side by side, elbow to elbow, something that Pearl wished she could have done with her own grandchildren. The cookies turned out well, tall as French wigs.
Discreetly sipping a Molson Canadian as they baked, Pearl thought, This is bliss. She felt like a mother and grandmother by proxy.
The spell was broken when Leah came to check on Lexi later on and was met by Pearl who had beer breath.
“Okay, Lexi, it’s time to come home for supper. So go on and wash up.”
Holding a plate of cookies, Lexi looked deliriously proud as she walked to her own apartment.
Leah turned to Pearl.
“Look Pearl, we need to talk. I really appreciate all that you’ve done with Lexi. But I can’t let her come over here anymore with all the drinking and what have you. In fact, it’s why her dad is gone.”
Pearl nodded. Her mouth opened like she was going to say something but then it closed just as fast.
“Okay then. Bye.”
* * *
Pearl was silent. She wished that Leah had said something sooner; it all seemed so abrupt and final. Initially, it made Pearl angry and invalidated for being so good to the lonely little waif. But then she knew that she had to stop lying to herself and to own up to her own reckless behaviour that had been going on for years. Other people can see it too, not just family, she realized. It’s all so very transparent.
Pearl sought care. For the light of realization had finally reached her, poured, permeated within. She decided to check into a treatment centre and then get some much-needed counselling. She knew that she had just been avoiding what was inevitable, after all. Maybe then, she told herself, I can win them all back. My son and family, even Leah and Lexi.
Asking a friend on the second floor to take care of Norman for her, Pearl made all necessary arrangements. Driving to the nearest hospital, she flicked the radio off. She just wanted to be alone with her thoughts. She was feeling it all right then: fear, guilt, remorse but, most of all, determination to succeed. It was like a force all its own. Gotta do it. Gotta get things right this time. In fact, time is passing me by, even starting to run out.
Hitting every green light along the way to emergency, Pearl was glad. Nothing’s stopping me now. Nothing will stop me from here on in. She stifled the urge to cry.
* * *
After supper, Leah pushed the manuscript aside. She cradled her daughter instead. She knew that she would get back to writing when the time was appropriate, but now she would set her priorities straight.
Lexi fell asleep on her lap and, for the first time, dreamt of Norman and not of mermaids. But the nap was short in duration. Waking up bleary-eyed, Lexi looked at Leah.
“Lexi, Mommy needs to talk to you about Auntie Pearl. She drinks and smokes a lot, so there will be no more going over there. You understand, right?”
Lexi made a face. Stuck out her tongue. Cried. Then she stomped to her room. It was becoming almost a pantomime between them.
Deciding to allow Lexi to untangle her emotions, Leah let her be.
Gonna swim away. Tonight, I’ll do that. Gonna show Momma. In her mind’s eye, she pictured herself just like the mermaid on her wall, the multicolored siren that would vanish in a flash.
Yet it was late in the night, nearly midnight, when Leah got up to go to the bathroom. She checked Lexi’s room and found it empty. She did a quick sweeping search of the small apartment and found nothing.
After desperately grabbing her phone, she burst into the dimly lit hallway and saw Lexi standing outside Pearl’s door. “Lexi!” Leah cried, “Please don’t do that again. Come home. Things will be good now. I promise!”
They went home. Climbing into her bed with Lexi in tow, Leah had an epiphany. Never again! Never again will I put the child on the back burner. Smelling the child’s sweaty little scalp, feeling her warm breath in the hollow of her neck, Leah was grateful that Lexi was home safe and sound. I’ll not make her feel alone anymore. It’ll always be that way, from now on in.
Copyright © 2025 by Shauna Checkley
