Guess Who’s Looking for You
by Douglas Young
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Table of Contents parts 1, 2, 3 |
part 2
After all the times he had rehearsed at length precisely what he would say to Lyric should she ever try to talk with him again, he suddenly felt too tired to recite all the things she deserved to hear. Instead, he recalled the long break-up letter he’d sent and just yearned for peace to prevail. Life felt plenty hard enough without additional conflict, and he was startled at the allure his ex-girlfriend continued to hold for him.
“You still have some warm feelings for me, Keatty? I meant it when I said how sorry I was about the way things ended between us. I never wanted that to happen. I swear.”
“Oh, it just happened, did it?”
“I’m sorry, babe. I really am. I so wish I could take it all back. You have no idea.” She looked down and then back into his eyes. He thought she might get emotional and her glassy eyes told him she had already had who knew how many beers. Not wanting an argument, especially when she was too vulnerable, he tried to be magnanimous, reminding himself that her cheating may have been a blessing enabling him to be with dear Janessa, the best girlfriend he had ever known, even if Lyric remained the most enticing and exciting.
“I know,” he responded, hoping to preclude any tears, especially in front of others.
“Really?” She looked at him surprised. “You forgive me?”
Recalling all the times he had asked that of a parent or friend he had wronged, and the acute anxiety of waiting for a reply, he sought to comfort her.
“Yes... I do. I know you didn’t mean to hurt me.” He sighed and looked down before meeting her eyes. “You may be a lot of things, Lyric, but you’re not mean. I know you’d never want to hurt me, and I hope I’m not mean, either. So I certainly don’t want you to feel guilty or beat yourself up about it. I—”
Her eyes welling with tears, she embraced him again. “Oh, baby, you have no idea how much that means to me,” she declared. “I’ve felt so badly about how I treated you. You didn’t deserve that, especially you, the best beau I ever had. Oh, you don’t know what a big weight you just lifted off my shoulders, love.”
To avoid a maudlin scene and worried how powerful her pull over him remained, he desperately sought to turn down the emotional volume.
“It’s okay. It’s okay,” was all he could think to say as he gently tried to untangle them.
“Can we please talk?” She looked at him desperately with tears in her already cloudy eyes. Eager to avoid any more public discomfort, he relented, though he fretted it may have also been at least partly due to desire.
“All right, but not here. I can barely hear you with all the music and chatter,” he noted before seeing Zita several feet away. Asked if there was someplace quieter they could go, she took them into the house and led them to her bedroom where Keaton was relieved to see a sofa. As Zita closed the door, he thought she gave him another look of fair warning.
When Lyric moved toward the bed, Keaton quickly sat down on the sofa and she did the same, one foot under her thigh. She looked into his eyes and held his gaze. It both touched and unnerved him that she was reading him, all the more so since she knew him very well.
In the nine months they were a couple, he had opened up to her like no one in his life, not even any psychiatrist. He felt emotionally naked before her and hoped she could not tell how much he still desired her. He also sensed she was fully aware of how much it meant to him to play the strong man comforting a lady in distress.
“I’ve wanted to talk with you for so long, Keaton. You’ll never know how many times I started to call or text, but figured you might be with Janessa and didn’t want to risk causing any trouble.”
“Thank you, Lyric. That was mighty thoughtful of you and is much appreciated.”
“So have you?”
“Have I what?”
“Have you missed me?”
He feared she would cry if he said “No,” and he just felt like being honest.
“Sure.”
“Aw... That makes me feel so good.” Already sitting closer than he wanted, Lyric took his hand in both of hers, prompting his chest to tighten at the thought of Janessa’s reaction and what she might very well soon hear from other partygoers.
“Lyric, I appreciate how sweet you’re being... truly; but I’m super uncomfortable just being alone in the same room — bedroom — with you.” She put her hands to her mouth to stifle a laugh. “I keep thinking how Janessa would feel if she could see us, and how I’d feel if the roles were reversed. And exactly how do you think Ray would react?”
“I don’t care. He can go screw himself. I’m better off without him.” She looked away with a scowl.
“Yeah, easy for you to say. He’d just break up with you, but then maybe come beat me up or even shoot me. Have you seen his gun collection?”
“You worry too much, Keatty.” She laughed. “When you were with me, you said yourself you stopped fretting so. I even got you to stop seeing that stupid shrink. Yeah, just think of all the money I saved you with that.”
“Sure, and then add all the additional shrink visits and increased prescription bills since you betrayed me with a life-long friend... excuse me, former friend.”
“I’m sorry, Keaton,” she declared as her shoulders slumped. “I truly am. Oh, how I wish I could take it all back and make it up to you, babe. I really do.”
“Care to help pay for the therapy sessions and prescription bills since you left me?”
“I would if I could afford to.” She looked at him and squeezed his hand. He realized how hot and sweaty he was, and noticed her long-nailed, elegant fingers caressing his hand.
“You’re letting me hold your hand,” she said hopefully with a slight smile that grew as she lowered her head in front of their hands to look up at him, prompting Keaton to smile and quickly look away.
“I still think someone has some feelings for me,” she stated with a raised eyebrow.
“I’m a mix of emotions.” He sighed. “I admit it. What do you expect of me, Lyric? We were together for nine months in the most intense relationship of my life. It was quite a roller-coaster ride, good and bad, and now my super pretty ex who left me suddenly swoops back into my life all lovey-dovey holding my hand and appearing to want me back. I don’t know what I feel, Lyric. What do you want from me?”
“First of all, I didn’t leave you. You broke up with me. I was forced out of your life—”
“Because you slept with one of my best friends!” he exclaimed before looking at the bedroom door to make sure it was closed.
“I know,” she said in a lower tone. “God knows how many times I’ve replayed that in my mind and wished it never happened. But it did.”
“There you go again with that ‘it just happened’ routine. You made it happen, Lyric. Or did he rape you? And if he did, then how come you’re still with him three months later? Huh?”
“No, he didn’t rape me,” she said softly, looked down, and sighed. “But like I told you, I was drunk, and you know how I lose control when I drink too much.” She looked up again, defiant and pleading.
“Like tonight? Now? What would Ray say? In fact, exactly what do you want, Lyric. I don’t under—”
“I want you, dummy. Don’t you understand? Stop thinking so much for a change, Mr. Smarty Pants, and just feel. I got you to do that a lot more when we were together and you said many times you were the happiest you’d ever been. We can have that again, Keatty. I’ve learned my lesson. Please believe me. I have. I screwed up; literally, I know.” She rolled her eyes. “But I did and Ray’s a mistake who I never would have stayed with if you’d somehow found it in your heart to forgive me. And I know you had every right to leave me, and I likely would’ve too, but I don’t want Ray, baby. I want you. I always did. You always told me I was the best gal you ever had. Well, you’re the best boy I ever had, and by far. I want you, back, Keatty. We can make this work. I know we can.” She squeezed his hand.
Despite all the logical counterpoints his head wanted to make, he felt his heart melt and turned from her gaze and their hands to look at the wall. Was I too harsh judging her for a single one-night stand? he asked himself. Perhaps Ray was never really a real friend at all to have done what he did, and maybe he did take advantage of her drunkenness. Could I have overreacted? Yes, Janessa’s been lovely, but I never felt so alive and confident and... happy as I was with Lyric... at times.
“Deep down, I know you still want me,” she said with a growing assurance that made him cringe at an image of a heartbroken Janessa. Desiring Lyric but desperately not wanting to hurt Janessa or himself in the long run, he recalled Zita’s warning and tried to steel himself against any seduction.
Suddenly, the bedroom door opened and a giggling couple they did not recognize appeared.
“Get the hell out!” Lyric shouted, startling the guests who quickly shut the door.
“It’s okay, Lyric. They didn’t know anybody was here,” Keaton said getting up to lock the door.
“Bullshit! They saw a closed door with the light on inside.”
“It’s all right. Let’s forget it, and the door’s now locked.” He sat back down and she enveloped his hand in both of hers again.
“I still love you, Keaton,” she said. “In spite of all the bitterness of the breakup and all the hurtful things you said in that letter that made me cry so.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know you had every right to write that and leave me, but I’ve had three months to think about everything and I’ve realized for a long time that hooking up with Ray was the stupidest, worst mistake of my whole romantic life, and I just so want you back, babe, and I’m a better person now.”
“I appreciate that, Lyric, I really do. That’s very sweet—”
“I’m just telling the truth, love,” she said with a raised voice while shaking his hand. “I still love you, Keaton. Do you still love me?”
He looked at the floor and then the walls. She started to smile at him and then the smile left but would come again.
“I still have strong feelings for you,” he finally mustered and her smile returned. “Is it love? I know I felt more intensely for you than I ever have with anyone else and, it’s true, I’ve never been happier than when I was with you... at times. And I am grateful to you for that, Lyric. I know I definitely still care about you and would help you if you needed me.”
“I do, baby, and I can make you happy again, too. I know it. I’ll be a more mature, better babe.” She grinned at him. “And you’re still letting me hold your hand.” She winked and giggled.
He could not help but chuckle and look at her, shaking his head at her now cocksure expression. Suddenly. he felt her bare foot moving up his leg as a sly grin graced her face.
“Bet you and little Miss Janessa have never had the kind of sex we had, huh? Now tell me true, Keatty.”
At the mention of Janessa’s name, a light switch came on and he removed Lyric’s foot, prompting her to frown and sigh. Consumed with guilt, Keaton reminded himself how, though he had been with Janessa less than two months, the relationship had been truly lovely, refreshingly free of all the sudden explosive mood swings, tears, bouts of anger, drinking, and betrayal scarring his time with Lyric.
Though not nearly as thrilling as Lyric — Who was? he asked himself — Janessa had been the least stressful girl he had ever dated; she had done far more than anyone to help him recover from his heartbreak, and he was now overwhelmed with shame for teetering so close to succumbing to Lyric’s wiles. If I betray Janessa now, then I’m no better than Lyric and Ray. He winced.
Copyright © 2025 by Douglas Young
