The Rise of the Thinking Pig
by G. Michael Smith
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Table of Contents parts 1, 2, 3 4 |
part 1
Doors and Fingers
Viola woke, rolled onto her back and wiggled back and forth. She felt the dry leaves shift and expose the small stones beneath. The stones served to scratch away the morning itches. She got up and made her bed. She used her snout to push the leaves back into a pile. She extended her nasal levator fingers to spread the leaves out. She hated making her bed but she loved climbing into a perfectly made one.
Turning to the den opening, she sniffed. The air was fresh and wet. It was spring and food was abundant. She walked out of her den and pulled the door closed behind her. The door was her very first invention. After it was made, the entire community asked her why she thought she needed a door. Did she not trust them? She had explained how the door kept the cold air out in winter and the hot air out in summer. She had even constructed a small door within the door to let air circulate if she so desired.
She didn’t tell them the main reason she made the door was to keep out the males that came sniffing around. Not one of them asked her how she made the door, either. All except her best friend, Paulina. She explained how she did it and swore her to silence.
“I went into the forest, got some green saplings of different sizes, and tucked them under and over each other until” — she gestured to her den — “I attached it to this post by the opening, and presto: a door.”
“I can see that. But how? My snout could never do that. How did you do it? And why? According to the Book, doors were meant to keep us locked up.”
This was the moment when Viola’s whole existence changed. She looked at her friend and nudged her with her snout. “You have to promise never to tell anyone.”
“Tell them what? You made a door. Everyone knows that. I have even noticed a few other females trying to make doors of their own. They think it is chic or cool to have a door. All of them have given up.”
“I didn’t notice,” Viola replied flatly.
“That’s because you barely ever come into the village.”
Viola turned to leave.
“Oh, no you don’t. What were you going to tell me?”
Viola stopped. She turned and stared into Paulina’s eyes. Their snouts almost touched. It was a defiant move on Viola’s part. Snouts this close indicated something was about to happen. If one snuffed at this point, a fight would almost certainly result. Viola did not snuff. She pulled back a little. “Close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“Just close them. If you want to know how I made my door, this is how I will tell you.”
“This makes no sense.”
“Do you trust me?” Paulina nodded her head. “Okay, close your eyes.” Paulina closed her eyes. “No peeking.” Viola moved a little closer. The nasal fingers that were controlled by the levator muscles on either side of her snout extended. Viola reached out with her ten snout fingers and tickled Paulina on either side of her snout. She quickly pulled the fingers back and out of sight. All you could see was a series of bumps running up her upper and lower jaw. They had always been there and no one had ever questioned what they were.
“That tickles,” gasped Paulina. She opened her eyes. “How did you do that? Did you use a bird feather? Where is it? Show me.”
“Promise!” Viola commanded. “Say it out loud and stick your snout in the dirt.”
“Okay, okay. I promise never to tell anyone what Viola, my best friend, is about to show me.” She smiled. “Is that good enough?” Viola indicated the dirt. “Alright. I will snout swear.” She stuck her wet nose down until it touched the ground and snuffed. A small cloud of dust surrounded her face for a moment. When she looked up, Viola was smiling.
“Watch.” On Viola’s snout, there were ten small bumps. Three were on the upper jaw and two on the lower. The bumps swelled a little and started to extrude out like tiny snakes. The ends flipped up, exposing a black nail on the tip. They extended out past the end of her snout. One side could touch one of the fingers on the other side. Viola wiggled them back and forth.
She leaned over and picked up a small stick on the ground with her right snout fingers, and drew an oval in the dirt. She held one end of the stick upright and touched the ground with the other end. She leaned over, and the twig bent. She grabbed the ground end of the twig with her left snout fingers and held it in the bent position. She flexed it back and forth. She smiled up at Paulina.
“Holy shit.” Paulina moved closer to look at the dancing fingers bending the twig.
Viola dropped the twig, reached out with two fingers, and pinched Paulina’s cheek. “Ouch,” squawked Paulina and pulled back.
There was a rustle in the bracken behind them. Both their heads swiveled. Paulina turned back to Viola. The fingers were gone. A large male stepped into the clearing.
“Viola, you are wanted in the Council chambers. I was told to fetch you.” Both Paulina and Viola stepped forward. “Not you, Paulina. Just Viola.” He stepped forward to stop her if she dared move.
“Okay, Duffy. Don’t be so anal.” She turned away and raised her tail. It was the kind of obscene gesture that would enrage Duffy.
“My name is MacDuff. You would be wise to respect that.” He turned to Viola. “Let’s go.” They both headed in the direction of the Council chambers.
* * *
The Contract
Trotting to the village brought stares. A number of the village females stopped foraging and looked up at Viola following behind Duffy. Viola turned and caught a glimpse of Paulina following some distance behind.
Paulina knew there was no point in irritating MacDuff any more than she already had. He had tried to mate with her and she had rebuffed him. She had gone around the village murmuring, “I rebuffed ugly Macduff.” She said it just loud enough for all the females to hear her. She knew he found out and she did not want to be caught alone with him. He might do something nasty to her. Exactly what she did not want to find out. The stories of Old Duffy doing nasty things to the females he tried to mate with were bad enough. She needed to keep her distance whenever she was alone.
Paulina was incredibly curious as to why he wanted Viola to report to the Council. Once they entered the village proper, she would skirt around to the back of the Council chambers and eavesdrop. She was getting too close so she ducked behind the big fir and listened.
Viola was calling out to Duffy walking in front of her. “Hey, Duff,” Viola called. He did not stop or even acknowledge that she had called him. Paulina grinned to herself. That was not something that Viola would let slide. She was true to form; she called out to him once again, “Hey, Duff, your belly is dragging along the ground. I just thought you should know.”
MacDuff stopped. He did not turn. Viola stopped and waited. MacDuff started walking again. Paulina giggled quietly. She knew there was more to come. “Hey, Duff. Does it hurt? One would think it hurts, especially when the ground is rocky.”
MacDuff stopped. “My belly does not drag on the ground so, no, it does not hurt.”
“I’m not talking about that. I was just wondering if those...” She paused and glanced back at Paulina peeking out from behind the giant fir. She grinned at Paulina’s big eyes and shaking head that were telling her not to say anything more.
Viola turned back. “Things hanging down between your legs hurt when they bounce off a rock. I saw them bouncing and I just wondered, that’s all.” Viola turned and grinned back at Paulina.
MacDuff stopped. He was about to turn around and then thought better of it. “Stop talking.”
“Why does the Council want to talk to me?”
“They don’t.”
“Then why are you taking me to the Council?”
“I’m not.”
Suddenly, Viola was concerned and even a little afraid. She shouted, “If you touch me, Duffy, I’ll—”
“You will what?” he said without turning around. Viola started to back up. “Don’t be a stupid sow. I’m not going to touch you.” He added: “Not if you hurry up and do what you are told.” Viola continued to back up. “The Mayor wants to chat with you about something, and he is in the Council chambers.”
“What does he want?”
“I have no idea. He just told me to get you and bring you to him. I think it is something about ‘doors’, whatever that means. I don’t even know what a door is. Sounds stupid.”
Viola relaxed. “You got that right.”
“What?” he said, still not turning around.
“Something went right over your head, and you didn’t even see it.”
“Probably just a bird,” he replied as he turned down the small path that led to the Council chambers. Viola rolled her eyes.
He stopped and indicated with his snout. “Go in the side tunnel. I will wait for you out here.”
“Why?
“Why what?”
“Why do you think you need to wait for me? I am quite capable of finding my way back.”
He shrugged, “I just thought that since I brought you here you would expect me to walk you back. It would be safer.”
“Do me a favor, MacDuff, and stop thinking. You are not good at it.” She turned, flipped up her tail, and walked to the side tunnel leading to the Council chambers. The darkness was complete as the passageway curved to the left.
She could smell someone up ahead. The actual chambers were open to the sky. She could see a glow up ahead. As she exited the tunnel, she saw the morning sun. It threw long shadows over the tiered seating mounds that surrounded the chambers. Only one edge was brightly lit. Sitting in the shadows at the edge of sunlight was the mayor.
He gestured. “Come, Viola, sit. I need to talk to you about something.”
Viola walked toward him and sat back on her haunches. She had never been alone in the presence of the mayor. “What can I do for you, sir?” she asked.
“Well, I hope you can get her off my back for starters,” he said and chuckled.
“I don’t understand. Get who off your back?”
“Hermione.”
“Your wife?”
“Yes.”
“How can I help? I am just a young female. Several older experienced sows can help her with whatever she needs.”
“Not with this. Now, are you willing to help me or not?” His tone left no doubt what the correct answer was.
“I will do whatever I can.”
“Good. So here it is. You have a door to your den. My wife wants a door to her den. She tried to make a door and failed. All her friends have tried to make a door and failed. I have tried to make a door and failed. For the life of me, I just don’t understand why anyone needs a door.” He paused and looked at her. “Am I correct in assuming that you made your door?” Viola nodded. “Good. I want you to make a door for Hermione. Will you do this for me?” Viola nodded again. “Good,” he said and stood up.
This was the signal for Viola to leave. Her thoughts swirled as she walked back through the tunnel she had used to enter the chamber. Viola’s head buzzed with concerns. "The door was a good idea at first,” she thought. “Now the door was a bad idea. If I want to do something other than make doors for everyone, I’ll have to come up with a plan.”
She poked her snout out of the tunnel and sniffed. Duffy was still there. She could smell him. She hazarded a glance out and saw that he had his back turned to her. She was about to slip in the opposite direction when she heard Paulina snort quietly.
“Viola, this way.” Viola smiled and headed toward Paulina. A few minutes later, they were sitting in Viola’s den giggling at the thought of Old Duff standing out in front of the Council chambers for the rest of the day.
* * *
Copyright © 2025 by G. Michael Smith
