Bewildering Stories discusses...

“The Meaning of Home”

with Huina Zheng

Huina Zheng’s “The Meaning of Home” falls into the genre of contemporary social realism. But what does “contemporary” mean in this case? It seems to apply to many people in many places and times.

[Don Webb] In “The Meaning of Home,” Lan’s situation reflects — to a certain extent — that of women in North America a century or more ago, when they were disadvantaged in seeking divorce for a number of reasons, for example:

Housewives often had no means of support other than their husbands.
Outside of city manufacturing centres or the local commerce of towns, the majority of the population were farmers. And a family was usually needed to manage a farm.
Both mothers and fathers were needed to produce generations of families and maintain the transmission of property rights. Confusion in land heritage could lead to endless legal conflicts or even to violent feuds in some areas.

By the 1930’s, legal constraints were less post-medieval than they had been. Women could vote, and divorce was granted legally in many U.S. states on the grounds of “irreconcilable differences.” Lin’s beating Lan and Wen would not only be grounds for divorce, he might be charged with assault and battery.

Today, we know that domestic abuse may be psychological as well as physical. And “irreconcilable differences” may be due simply to a rationally verifiable case of conflicting personalities, namely a mistaken choice of spouse. As a result, the custom now is to extend compassion and sympathy to friends and relatives without taking sides in personal decisions that one often knows little or nothing about.

[Huina Zheng] Thank you for your detailed response and for sharing the historical context of divorce among women in North America. It’s enlightening to see the parallels and contrasts with the situation in China, where women’s rights under the patriarchal Confucian culture have historically been very limited.

In China, divorce has been heavily stigmatized, seen as a woman’s tragic end. Today, societal views are slowly evolving, although for my parents’ generation, divorce remains dishonorable.

Only in the past decade, spurred by the rise of the internet, have ideas of gender equality begun to gain traction widely, inspiring more and more women to break free from old cultural constraints and seek independence.

In “The Meaning of Home,” Lan’s situation reflects almost exactly that of a relative of mine. Her husband’s infidelity, neglect and abusive behavior drove her to seek divorce. But her parents fiercely opposed her decision — and her father threatened violence — even though both parents knew how badly their daughter was being treated.

In the past, Chinese women had no legal protection against domestic violence and were often left isolated. Even with new laws against domestic violence, enforcement is weak, and many women’s calls for help go unanswered.

I’ve read numerous cases where women, attempting to escape abusive situations, were tragically killed. These real-life stories drive my passion to write and to create narratives where women can find escape and independence.

In China, Confucius is also seen as a symbol of wisdom. His concepts of “ren” (benevolence) and “li” (propriety) have been critical in shaping both governance and personal conduct in Chinese society. His advocacy for education, encapsulated in the idea that teaching should be accessible to all (), has allowed Chinese civilization to thrive continuously.

However, like all philosophies, Confucianism has its anachronisms. His views, particularly those reinforcing male supremacy, have contributed to a legacy of gender inequality. The Confucian emphasis on filial piety has also shifted the burden of elderly care from the state to the family, which has profound implications in modern society.

[Don W.] In the Western world, the name of Confucius has also been synonymous with “wisdom.” We can see that Confucius was fulfilling the societal needs of his time much like other prophets throughout world history. And any prophet’s message can be perverted by evil, be it malign intent on one hand or sheer stupidity — such as the ignorance of blind faith — on the other.

For example, the meanings of “benevolence” and “propriety” depend on who’s talking. Are Lan’s parents being “benevolent” because they inflict emotional abuse upon their daughter and even threaten physical abuse simply in order to maintain the “propriety” of the institution of marriage and the wife’s subordination to her husband?

[Huina Z.] Filial piety is a cornerstone of our culture, embodying the belief that “all parents are without fault,” suggesting that parental actions, even when harsh, are inherently correct. This was highlighted in a news story I read about a mother who cut off her daughter’s ears for disobedience. Despite the severity of the act, the mother was only given a suspended sentence and returned to her family.

This incident deeply resonated with my long-standing interest in education and parent-child relationships. Having witnessed countless instances of parental control and oppression, I am compelled to write stories that reflect the suffering of these children, who are often misunderstood and forced to convince themselves repeatedly that their parents’ actions, however harsh, stem from love.

[Don W.] And what is love? In some cases, it may be expressed by enforcing rules and, in others, by suspending judgment. As examples, at least two classic cases might be cited in this season following Easter:

Of course, one cannot overlook the famous instance where rules are enforced and suspended at the same time. John 8:1-12 tells the story of the woman caught in adultery. Her accusers say the law requires that she be stoned. Jesus first establishes his authority by demonstrating his writing; then he faces down the accusers with the memorable challenge: “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

The accusers all slink away, because they know that only God is without sin, and equating oneself to God is the ultimate blasphemy, suitable for stoning. The moral, at least, is as urgently needed today as it was then.

In Luke 10:38-42, Jesus and his group are the guests of two sisters, Martha and Mary. Martha complains that Mary isn’t helping with the housework, but Mary says she wants to learn from their guests. Jesus commends Martha for taking her responsibility seriously but, at the same time, he defends Mary’s making her own choice.

Today, we see in that scene a visitor politely reconciling an apparently minor disagreement. Why was it considered important enough to be included in a gospel, of all things? Perhaps because it was revolutionary to respect others’ and one’s own personal choices rather than follow society’s prescribed script.

Those accounts, among others, show how Jesus treated women — like men — as individuals. Such examples of equality must have led to the important roles that women had in the early church of the first and second centuries.

The motto of the French Republic — Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité — only appears to be a list; it’s actually a formula: liberty plus equality yields fraternity. Unlike the Chinese language, French did not yet exist in the first century, but its renowned revolutionary formula was being put into practice even then.

Responses welcome!