Bewildering Stories

The Critics’ Corner

Don Webb writes about...

James Wasserman’s “Smoke and Mirrors

Since you mention the role of the editor, Mike, I might add a couple of things:

I quite understand, Mike, why you’d like more extensive characterization in “Smoke and Mirrors.” I agree that the story you have in mind is one that needs to be told. However, I think it would be another story than James Wasserman’s and — who knows — you may be the one to tell it.

“Smoke and Mirrors” focuses mainly on the theme of retribution through personality exchange; when that’s accomplished, the story is over. Which brings up a problem, namely the ending:

Drake, or the man formerly known as Drake, stood stunned. Before he knew it, he was staring into the driver’s face. The avalanche of memories were coming back. He wasn’t Philip Reber. The resemblance was... because...

He’d reversed roles.

Three things spoil it for me:

  1. “Drake, or the man formerly known as Drake, stood stunned.” — Who’s who here? An author can depict and explain a character’s confusion, but when the reader is the one who’s confused, then the story screeches to a halt.

  2. “The resemblance was... because...” — Nothing “is because”: the subject always is or does something “because.” That’s a grammar and logic mistake I correct when I see it, but I couldn’t find a way to do that here other than to insert (gasp!) an extra set of suspension points to indicate that the narrator was at a loss for words.

  3. “He’d reversed roles.” — That’s a stage direction, not the character thinking. Rather, the reader needs to see the role reversal from what the author shows. The best example I know of is a story on the premise of personality transfer: J. G. Ballard’s “A Sudden Afternoon,” in his collection Terminal Beach. It’s well worth studying.

Aside from that, though, I’m very pleased with “Smoke and Mirrors” and hope we receive more from James Wasserman.

Don Webb
Copy Editor, Bewildering Stories

Copyright © 2005 by Don Webb

The discussion may be continued and is open to all.
Please feel free to join in!

What is the Critics’ Corner?

Return to top

Home Page