The Mirage

by John W. Steele

conclusion

After eons in the paradise realm Jarred grew jaded. He no longer treasured the idea of endless perfection. The trappings of luxury and opulence lost their charm and he began to survey the limitless panorama of the faraway realms. Deep in the cosmos hung great luminosities that appeared like twinkling colored gemstones. He felt a burning spirit of adventure ignite within him and desired to explore the mysterious galaxies.

Yet, Amia reveled in a security and sense of contentment she’d never dreamt possible. Her beauty now eclipsed the glory of Venus, and she found endless delight gazing at her image reflected in the mirror like pools of the fountain. She’d succumbed to a state of narcissistic idolatry and would’ve been content to worship the stunning rapture of her form for eternity. With Jarred at her side nothing could replace the wonder of her bliss.

* * *

Jarred gazed madly into the heavens at a meteor that soared at the rim of the universe. So bright was its luminosity that the cosmos glowed with a lustrous white light. He considered the miraculous spectacle to be an auspicious event and he revealed his epiphany to Amia.

“I see limitless worlds filled with mystery and splendor, Amia, the time has come for us to investigate the mysterious realms that surrounds us.”

Amia looked up from the pool, a narrow frown formed on her face and her aura dimmed.

“What could possibly compare to the rapture we have found here, Jarred? I have no desire to stray from the water of life. I cannot conceive of anything that would compare to the sweetness we enjoy in the palace of everlasting tranquility. Why would anyone want to leave the glory of the fountain?”

Jarred stroked his flowing amber beard. A feeling of domination surged through him and he savored a mighty sense of pride and authority. The wheel of empire was now his to command and when he spoke the ground trembled.

“Before we evolved to this realm I knew not desire, Amia. Yet, now my eyes have been opened my senses reveal that all creation is mine to possess. I have discovered the fury of passion... it is insatiable. I am an unconquerable conqueror, and it is my destiny to rule over vast kingdoms... Be not afraid, for we will never venture away for too long, and we can always return here.”

Amia lowered her head and gazed into the pool, desiring to return to her trance of selfish indulgence. Because she did not respond, Jarred grew annoyed and in a loud voice proclaimed,

“I am the Lord of this realm, Amia, you will do as I command.”

A single silver tear trickled down Amia’s cheek. “Wherever you go I will follow, Jarred, For without the sweetness of your affection, my beauty would be little more than a miraculous treasure forever obscured in the avalanche of chaos.”

* * *

Travel in this ineffable place was not difficult, for there was no space, only the illusion of space. If they wanted to explore a different world they merely willed the idea, and the thought became a reality. Their existence on this plane included the gift of omnipotence.

For untold ages Amia and Jarred explored the paradise realms. Each new world was more fulfilling than the previous one. Nor did any two realms remotely resemble each other. Whatever they desired in their now dynamic imagination became a reality. There were no barriers to overcome, and their thoughts produced immediate effect.

Each of the heaven realms had its root in the imagination and knew not beginning or end. Every feeling or thought they conceived had a corresponding reality. Endless lifetimes of fantasy were theirs to enjoy, and the depth of the mind created realms was bottomless.

But no matter how far they journeyed, no matter how incredible their joy, or fulfilling their adventure, they always felt a sense of loneliness and separation if they ventured too long from the fountain. Without the waters of the fountain there was a nagging emptiness. The fountain was the essence of life, from which all else was made possible.

* * *

Surrounding the fountain in the limitless boundary of the courtyard stood innumerable statues. Horizon after horizon contained vast numbers of figural sculptures. Many of the statues were human in form, but there were other forms as well. Some of the colossal figures stood hundreds of feet tall and their shape was alien and bizarre. Many of the forms had wings or powerful animal like bodies with many appendages and numerous eyes. The statues were made of the finest marble, or lapis lazuli, and the eyes sparkled like diamonds, sapphires, or emeralds.

The lifelike shells were suspended in eternity, and perfectly preserved. The phenomena of the sculptures troubled Jarred, and he began to question why they were there. In his heart he wanted to believe he was immortal, and he did not reveal his anxiety to Amia.

For an eternity they existed as gods in the paradise realms until the cause of their blissful state grew exhausted. And like an invisible thief steals the flower of youth... a slow nearly imperceptible change came upon them.

Their shimmering garments began to collect dust. The vivid colors of the flowered garlands around there necks grew dim. Amia’s radiant complexion lost its luster, and beads of sweat began to appear on Jared’s forehead.

Jarred could not fail to notice Amia’s skin was beginning to appear opalescent, like the sculptures throughout the courtyard. He began to wonder if their existence in this paradise was only temporary; and an idea began to torment him... gods are not immortal.

Amia began to sense the changes as well. Feelings she could not comprehend filled her buoyant and shining mind. Eventually she could no longer bear her perception of loss, and she questioned Jarred.

“My dearest, Jarred, for untold ages, I have existed as a body of light. My feet have not touched the ground, nor have I had any sense of confinement, but my form has lost its radiance and my limbs are growing firm. My face no longer displays glory and perfection when I gaze upon my image reflected in the pool. My flesh grows dense and my mind has become torpid. I feel as if I am devolving to stone. Surely we will exist as light emitting deities in this wondrous place forever? Please explain these changes to me”

Jarred gazed into the fountain and his heart was like a man facing the gallows for he now understood that he was now a prisoner of time. He’d surrendered his innocence for the world of illusion and his life was no longer his. For knowledge begets ego, and ego is death. And when he spoke his words were like those of a great power... filled with the knowledge of self...

“I understand your concerns, Amia, for I have had doubts of my own. I am at a loss to explain the alteration in our state. I did not discuss the matter in hopes these new conditions were but temporary. Perhaps we are just becoming familiar with this realm, and it is not quite as charming as it once was.”

Amia looked at Jarred and remembered the glory he once possessed. But the aura of authority and majesty that flashed about him like bolts of lightning was beginning to fade. And though she loved him more than her own life she no longer found comfort in his thoughts.

“Your words no longer ring of truth my beloved, Jarred, for they are now empty and filled with mystery. Flattery and insincerity drip from your tongue like the charm of the serpent. I sense a great tragedy will soon befall us. And I shudder to think what it may be.”

* * *

In an attempt to eliminate the undesirable effects of change, Amia and Jarred no longer ventured from the fountain. The waters of life still provided them with a sense of ecstasy, but they had to bathe in the effervescent pools to find the rapture that once was theirs in abundance. Jarred was now obsessed with rituals performed at the head of fountain; they now chanted, and offered prayers of supplication to the shimmering waters that flowed from eternity. Long gone were the wondrous adventures in the paradise worlds.

Slowly... ever so slowly, the final stanza of their fantasy drew to a conclusion, and Amia became too stiff to move. Her body that once shimmered with the glory of a blazing star in the frigid open skies of winter’s darkness was becoming petrified.

Jarred knew the time of their rapture in heaven realm had come to an end, and he carried Amia to a distant horizon. He took her to a place they had visited many times before. They adored this place for it was there that Jarred proposed to her upon their rebirth in paradise. They felt an endless sense of unity whenever they journeyed there.

He cradled Amia in his arms, beneath a magnificent golden oak tree with bark like coral, and leaves like spun malachite. The tree was alive with the colorful little birds that Jarred so adored. The tiny creatures sang a melancholy lullaby in the branches of the trees enormous limbs. Amia began to weep and said,

“Oh my beloved Jarred, I am deeply troubled and ashamed. How will you ever forgive me? If not for my wandering mind, we would still be safe and secure in our garden. I ache sorely inside for having suggested that we explore the mirage. I deeply regret having made such a proposal to you. I see now this place is indeed only an illusion, and now it is our downfall.”

Amia began to tremble. “Kiss me, Jarred blow my last breath of life into me, for you are, and always will be my life.”

Jarred looked deep into Amia’s eyes. A tear trickled down her cheek and turned into a pearl. Jarred kissed Amia for the last time. He wanted to comfort her and said,

“Be not distressed, my love. Had you not opened my mind to the possibility of desire, we would have been forever indentured in the garden. Eating, sleeping, making love, little different than the animals in the forest. Because of you I have discovered we are spiritual beings, different from the brutes in the wilderness. Without you I never would have understood the infinite beauty our minds possess.

“We would have remained eternally conditioned, living as slaves fettered forever by the finite circumstances of the garden. I now see we possess a soul. It is I who owe you an eternal debt of gratitude. Not one thing I have experienced or anything this realm has to offer could equal or compare, to my love for you.”

Jarred looked once again into Amia’s eyes, but they had become sapphires. Her body lay stiff and frozen; as a shell of lustrous marble. Jarred wailed in deep distress. He’d lost part of himself and his anguish was unbearable. He wept bitterly for a long time. When he could cry no more, he raised his eyes to the cosmos and in a voice that echoed through eternity he proclaimed,

Amia my Amia,
If heaven is nothing
But a fool’s desperate dream
Like a mist that dries up
In the sun

I vow by the stars
You won’t be alone
If no heaven exists
I’ll create one...

Tears tumbled from his cheeks, and splashed into a pool of diamonds, at his feet. He continued to speak to Amia as if she were still alive.

“O my beloved, Amia. I now understand our form will adorn this world forever, just as the numerous beings that have found this place in the distant past, and now abound here.

“It may be that we are but tiny drops like water, seeking our way endlessly through streams and rivers to become one again with the great ocean. Perhaps we will rise to the sun again, and be reborn as drops.”

With his last ounce of strength, Jarred drew Amia to his chest; he would never let her go. His body grew cold and rigid, and his vision clouded. His eyes became pale orbs of turquoise, and his awareness faded like an exhausted burning ember. With it’s final beet Jarred’s heart turned to stone, and as a drop of consciousness, he entered the infinite ocean of... mind.