Women in Autumn

by Tala Bar

Chapter 7 appears
in this issue.

Chapter 8: Shabat

conclusion

Saturday rose clear and fine, with no hint of storm — a soft, warm autumn day, when the sun shines behind a calm, white haze.

“Ariela,” Anat informed her mother-in-law on the telephone, “I’m taking the children to the Safari. Would you like to join us?” Beside the favor she was doing the older woman, it was also a favor for herself, to share looking after the children. But Ariela did not put it down against her.

“Yes, I’ll be ready when you get here in the car.”

As Airela got into the car next to Anat, and they proceeded toward the Safari outside the big city, Itai informed his mother in a serious tone, “It’s heat period for some animals.”

“You think you could see a mating?” his mother asked.

“Ronni said there’s a special view point for people who want to see it,” he asserted.

“Whatever the kids are interested in today,” Ariela sighed. “In our days things like that were never even talked about.”

They left the car in the car park at the entrance and went in on foot. If they wanted to get farther into the Safari, they could take its zebra car. Anat asked about those animals which get in heat in the autumn, received a guide leaflet and they started on their way.

* * *

Maya woke up lazy, stretched in bed and yawned. “Shura, where are you? What are you doing? Isn’t it too early to get up?” she called.

Shura peeped out of the bathroom, her hair wet from washing and she was wearing a fluttering robe. “Rise and shine, lazy one, Matan and I have decided to go to the Safari. It’s a wonderful day for it.”

“Ah, I wouldn’t mind staying in bed all day. Come, bring Matan and we’ll spend it here.”

“No, not today. We’ll leave that kind of adventure to a rainy day, when we can’t get out.” She came up to the bed and started tickling Maya. The young woman swerved and giggled, stretching her arms to protect her body. At last she jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. When she came out she found the other two sitting at the kitchen table for a good breakfast.

“Ah, you two are always against me,” she complained and sat between them. She kissed Matan on his cheek, “Good morning, son, did you sleep well?”

“Safari,” he crowed.

“Do you know what the safari means?”

“Monkeys!”

“Ha!” his two mothers cried out and burst out laughing.

“You know what,” Shura said after a while, “I’ll call Galit and we’ll take her too. She loves animals and is sure to be happy for such an entertainment. Besides, I’m sure she would like to spend the day with Matan — and he could learn from her about other animals beside monkeys!”

* * *

It was by the monkey site that Shura, Maya, Galit and Matan met Anat, Ariela, Itai and Oren. “Ariela! Shura! You here also?” Anat cried.

Shura presented Maya, Matan and Galit.” What would you think about taking all the children for a turn around the zoo, Galit?” Shura asked her daughter. The girl agreed enthusiastically, and the little children felt her affection and joined her happily. Only Itai hesitated, not sure whether to join the little ones or go with the adults; but as these were all women, he decided to go with the kids, who included two male persons as well.

“If Matan gets tired,” Galit said to Itai, “we can take him on our arms in turns.”

“I see you’re in charge,” he grinned at her. But he was happy to accept responsibility in the company of the fifteen year old — better than being the only child among adult women.

Anat, Ariela, Maya and Shura turned away from the animals and came up at the cafe, with its coffee tables standing outside. ‘If Tirza were here,’ Ariela reflected, ‘she would particularly know how to enjoy the visit.’ But she did not share her thoughts with her friends.

They ordered hot and cold drinks and various cookies, and sat in the plastic chairs. “Shabat!” Maya sighed; “as much as I love work, I’m always happy to have a Shabat to rest in.” In her previous work, whose memory she was trying to push back in a corner of her mind, she never had rest days or holidays.

“I don’t know,” Anat commented; “sometimes I feel I’d like to spend all my days at the factory — much less demands of the kind that one has in private life...”

“Don’t you like to spend time with the kids?”

Anat’s eyes examined Maya coldly. She did not find much interest in that little woman — who seemed small not only in size but also in character — who was much less interesting than Shura. “The kids are all right,” she answered carelessly, “but they are no replacement for adult company, either in knowledge or in understanding. Perhaps when they grow up...”

“They are great, your kids,” Ariela said. “I don’t know how you can say such things about them. There is nothing like children to fill up one’s life... I remember-”

“Really, Ariela,” Anat interrupted, “let’s not remember things, and not talk about the kids. Shura, tell us something new, interesting.”

Shura agreed, and when her story was finished with the women laughing, smiling or giggling, Ariela turned to Maya, asking about the design company she worked for. Conversation turned around that subject, in general and in particular, passing from home design to marriage, then in particular to arguments inside marriage.

“Do you think,” Ariela asked Anat, “that Tirza and her husband argue between them?”

“What is it, Ariela, why are you asking me such a question?” her daughter-in-law replied, upset.

“Haven’t you told me about Tirza’s husband, Anat?” Shura asked. “Isn’t he the man you had an affair with?”

“Why are all of you suddenly interested in my love life?” she asked aggressively.

“It’s not about your love life, it’s about theirs,” Shura said. “Have you any idea what is happening between them?”

“No, and I don’t want to know!”

“I met a woman called Tirza,” Maya commented, “she works at an animal shop. Is she the one you’re talking about — it’s not such a common name.”

“How is it that everyone knows everyone else in this company?” Now Anat was on the way of becoming angry.

“I met her on the sea shore,” Maya said quietly; “she looked so miserable. I would be afraid for her...”

“Nothing is going to happen to her!” Anat cried. “It’s just a kind of misunderstanding. I’m sure she’ll recover and everything will be all right. Come,” she rose, decisively, “let’s go see about the children.”

* * *

Tirza and Lorry were having breakfast at noon. “I hope you have something nice to wear for the party at the plant tonight,” he said. The morning mist had cleared, the sun shone and his mood was good; he felt he had renewed his relations with his wife and almost forgot about Anat. At least, he tried not to think about her.

“Party? Really Lorry, I don’t feel like going to any party, especially at the plant,” Tirza said, sipping her coffee. She barely tasted the toast and touched nothing else.

“You don’t need to worry about Anat, you know. I suppose she wouldn’t even notice you.”

“I don’t worry about Anat,” she answered dryly, not looking at him. He rose, came and stood behind her, bent and kissed the back of her head. She accepted his caresses silently.

“All right, we won’t talk about it now, we have a few hours to go. What would you like to do today?” They had not spent Shabat together for a long time, and she didn’t know what to say. “You want to go to the beach?” he continued, trying to ignore her silence. “You always liked the sea in the autumn, didn’t you?”

All of a sudden, he really recalled what she loved once, a million years ago, before he had betrayed her and forgot her and abandoned her. Tears rose in her eyes and she shook her head.

Suddenly he turned and went into the living room, dropped on the couch and put on the television. Tirza rose, collected the dishes and took them to the sink, and washed them carefully. In the end, they did not go anywhere, passed the Shabat in the flat, doing nothing.

When evening came and Lorry started dressing for the party, Tirza strengthened her resistance. “I don’t feel well,” she said weakly, “I have a headache.”

“So, take a pill,” he insisted. “Really, I want you to come, I don’t like the way you always avoid coming to our parties.”

“But I have nothing to wear!” she argued.

“Nonsense. What about that dress you had on for the play last month — I’m sure it’s good enough for a party.”

“But it’s a summer dress! It’s unsuitable for this season, you must understand!” He heard in her voice that insistence which was foreign to her, and he didn’t know how to answer. In the end, he went away angry, not understanding.

* * *

When he was gone, she went to telephone her family at Ein Atid. “Hi, Ofra, how are you?”

“As usual, always well. And you? I’m not used to you telephoning out of the blue. Anything happened?”

“No, I just want to say a few words to Mother. Can you give her to me?”

“You know she can’t hear well on the phone. Can I give her a message?”

“No, I’ll make her hear me somehow.” There was a pause.

“Tirza! Anything happened.”

“Hi Mother, I just wanted to say hello.” She talked in a high, sharp voice, making sure the old woman would hear her. “I’m a bit lonely, Lorry went to a party and I didn’t feel like going. That’s all. Bye, Mummy,” she said, talking to her like a child again.

“Tirza, Tirzali, everything all right with you? You sound so sad.”

“No, I’m all right now. Say good-bye to Ofra and Hagai for me, and the kids, all right. Bye, then.” She hung up the phone, not explaining.

She stood for a while, staring at the phone as if yearning for the connection with her family to continue. Then she stirred, went to the bar and took a bottle of wine, putting it on the coffee table in the living room. From the bedroom she produced some pills and put them beside the bottle. At one time she had difficulty sleeping, and got these on prescription; now she was glad she had them.

She lit the gas heater and put it at the center of the room. She put on the radio on the music channel, making it play softly. Then she sat on the couch and poured a glass of wine. She took out a pill and swallowed it; she took a sip, then another pill, another sip and another pill... She leaned back and shut her eyes, opened them again and took another pill and another sip. Her head began filling with mist but she continued to take the pills until the last one. Then she rose and shut off the gas, reopening it without lighting it. She returned to the couch and stretched on it, closed her eyes and listened to the soft, calming music.

* * *

Lorry, free of his wife and his lover, strolled among the plant’s workers, exchanging words here and there with his mates, flirting here and there with the women, as usual.

Anat bumped into him, stared at him coldly and asked, “Where have you left your wife?”

He shrugged. “She was in no mood for a party,” he replied.

“I suppose. What did you tell her?”

“Nothing. She’s a bit depressed, but she’ll come out of it. After all, I’ve come back to her,” he grinned at her. She did not return it but shrugged, happy she did not have to make an effort to change his approach.

“What did you talk about with Anat?” asked one of the minor workers in his department.

“Nothing. I can’t stand that woman — so arrogant!”

“She looks glowing to me. I haven’t noticed before that halo around her!”

“Ha? What’re you talking about?” Suddenly he recalled how Anat looked to him once upon a time, surrounded with a mysterious glow. He looked at her again and saw nothing of it. She looked to him as a completely ordinary woman — beautiful and well turned out, indeed, but somewhat artificial, lacking that natural, simple character of Tirza’s, for instance. Suddenly, that particular simple and pleasant character seemed to him full of charm, as it was when they had just met and Tirza looked at him with that shyness in her dark blue eyes.

When Lorry stirred from his unexpected reflections, he noticed that same minor worker was talking to Anat. She seemed to give him more than the usual attention, listening to him closely, getting close to him, touching and not touching. ‘She is charming him now,’ the thought passed through his mind. A particular desire came on to him, to get out, leave that well lit place, to return to his simple flat with his simple, loving wife — at least, who was loving once upon a time. To comfort her, to get her back to him, now that he was coming back to her...

He left without saying good-bye to anyone, got into the car and drove through the night streets of the city. The air was wonderfully clear; stars shone among the clouds that were beginning to cover the sky. A few drops fell, reflecting the colorful lights. Such an autumn night that Tirza loved, Lorry thought as he passed the cars in the street. Really, this is the time to sit in your warm home, with your good wife. Tirza! He thought. What have I done to her? I must make it up to her somehow. He did not know how, but he knew he’d do anything for her now, anything!

He arrived and parked the car, entered the elevator and pressed the button. He stood for a moment before the flat’s door, took out the key and turned it in the lock. The light was on in the living room, and Lorry was glad that Tirza had not gone to bed yet.

An odd smell came to his nose and he entered in a hurry, choked and coughed. Without looking around he went to the window and opened it to the lighted city, to the blessed rain. Then he turned to the couch and saw his wife lying there, her eyes closed and she was smiling. He had not seen her smiling for a long time. Then he saw the bottle on the coffee table, almost empty, and noticed the empty pack of pills.

“Tirza, get up, don’t sleep,” he called. He noticed the gas coming out of the stove, shut it off and came back to the couch.

“Tirza!” he called, “What have you done? Tirza! Tirza! Tirza!...”