Some Fun With the Dental Technician

by Richard H. Williams

Once again it was time for Nick Palmer to have his semi-annual dental visit. First would come the cleaning, which he dreaded, then the x-rays, and finally, in subsequent visits, the needles and the drills, and, if necessary, the pulling of teeth.

He especially feared the filling of cavities and the pulling of teeth. When the dentist was working on him, there would be a blinding light, coming at him from above, a narrow hooked tube sucking liquid from his mouth — sometimes it clamped onto his tongue or gums or lips or the base of his mouth — and an occasional burst of water, which he gulped down, almost choking.

When the humming drill was bearing down on his tooth, smoke would issue from his mouth. Once he waited three years between dental visits and his teeth became covered with green fuzz. The prohibitive costs were also difficult to absorb.

Even the cleaning was highly unpleasant, although the presence of the dental technician was desirable. She was a beautiful woman, perhaps in her mid-twenties. Her name was Lisa. She had a narrow waist, plump breasts that were partially revealed, black flashing eyes, a delicious butt, and a smile that lighted up the room. So for Nick, going in for a cleaning was what psychologists call an “approach-avoidance” situation.

One day, while he was reclined in the chair and Lisa was preparing her instruments for cleaning, she noticed that Nick was clutching the arms of the chair so hard that his knuckles were white. He was also grinding his teeth.

Lisa pressed her breasts against him and said, “You really are scared, aren’t you, Nick? You know I always try to be gentle. I have an idea that might make this a pleasant experience.”

Nick said, “That's hard to believe. But tell me about it.”

Lisa said, “I have some nitrous oxide in this tank. It is commonly called ‘laughing gas’. Many years ago, before the advent of Novocain, dentists used it to relax their patients. The patient’s uneasiness gets swallowed up in pleasure.”

“Furthermore, there is no hangover, although the patient shouldn’t drive right away. Nitrous oxide is colorless, sweet smelling, and nonirritative. There are very few side effects. Would you like to give it a try, Nick?” Lisa kissed Nick on the lips.

Nick said, “That sounds too good to be true. Let’s give it a try!”

Lisa clamped a cup over Nick’s nose and told him to inhale deeply. She intended to give him three such bursts of laughing gas. She said, “You are receiving a three-boilermaker treatment. Each one of these has the potency of a shot of whiskey chased with a glass of Guinness Stout.”

Nick said, “I feel a vibration — a warm and tingly sensation. I am hearing elevator music, but the very same song is playing, over and over. The taste makes me recall a vacation I spent in Grand Bahama.”

After five minutes, Nick was experiencing euphoria, a happy drunk feeling. He started to giggle and it turned into a guffaw.

Nick said, “My senses are sharper, especially hearing. I can actually hear a conversation between my dentist and the receptionist — and they are way down the hall.”

Lisa said, “What is the dentist saying?”

Nick said, “He is telling her to bill me for $425 for the cleaning and the x-rays.”

The receptionist said, “Isn’t that a bit steep?”

The dentist said, “He won’t even notice the hike in the bill after experiencing Lisa’s laughing gas treatment.”

Nick said, “My hearing is as acute as that of Roderick Usher in Edgar Allan Poe’s story, ‘The Fall of the House of Usher’. This is better than hearing the monologues of several of the best stand-up comedians.”

Lisa kissed him and stroked his thighs. She said, “You are the man with the golden nose. You are experiencing the ideal clinical sedative.”

Nick said, “I think I can fly. Would you like to fly with me?”

Lisa said she would enjoy that, and she turned the bib around so that it was like a cape. Nick stood up out of the chair and bent slightly with outstretched hands. Lisa mounted him, clamping her feet on his ribs, and they took off. They went right through the wall and soared high in the sky. Lisa urged him on by pulling his hair and saying, “Go out over the ocean and then turn back. Speed it up!”

Nick felt like he was in heaven. His clothing had been transformed into the blue and red attire of Superman. They landed in the shallow water, and Lisa began to float on her back. Nick pumped up her breasts and they were like water wings. He mounted them and off they went, soaring over a green lush forest.

Lisa said, “I have to prepare for the next patient,” and they floated back to the office and Nick was again in his chair. The cape had turned back into the bib. Nick said, “When are you going to clean my teeth? And what about the x-rays?

Lisa said, “It was all done long ago.”

Nick was emerging from the nitrous oxide. He said, “Did we make love and have sexual intercourse?”

Lisa said, “That’s for me to know and you to find out. Shall I make an appointment for you for six months for cleaning and x-ray?”

Nick said, “I can’t wait that long. Make it for six weeks.”