Poems to Louise H.

Well, what did I expect?
What right to feel neglected?
And adolescent jealousy…
I hesitate to write it. Though
you’ll think so much the less of me,
it’s better that you know
that that’s the way I am
and that that way yes act I can.

Funk and disco from the speakers
animated my sneakers.
You danced with him, I danced with her
for some time, I don’t know how long,
but then I noticed you were gone
and wondered where you were.

Thinking thoughts I’d thought before
I left the dance floor through the door.
Out into the crowded hall I went
towards the other room, intent
on my own fantasies, the sound
of music fading into the background;
and there in the dim light,
I saw you with his arms around you
and the others standing by. My flight
was cowardly and vain, besides
stung vanity and hurt pride
I felt that none of it was right,
and still I left and couldn’t say good night.