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Beyond the Island

by John W. Steele

Chapter 21

part 1 of 2

Saturday morning arrived, dark and gloomy, and the rain fell in gentle showers. I decided to try and contact Lord Nagual, and I spent the day in concentration searching for him. I hoped that I might be able to reason with him one last time. Since he would not allow me to escape our purpose through the mercy of death, I wanted to try and plead with him to spare Karen’s life. I thought that I must have something he wanted, or he would not have wasted his time with me. I was willing to barter anything to save her.

I sat cross-legged and entered a state of imperceptible perception. When I entered Samhanna, I scoured the realms of our familiar haunts but I could not find him. I gazed through a shining portal of psychic energy the Nagual had shown me. The window was like an endless tunnel of crystal-clear ice. Max said it was a pathway to eternity.

Far in the distance, I could see my guardian angel, Roger. Although I couldn’t determine where in the space-time continuum he was located, it was not difficult to communicate with him.

Max had told me that when the illusion of time is transcended, the awareness could travel to any of the coordinates in the cosmic veil that exists eons in the past or the future and enter them at will. He said that time is the original curse that was created when the first island was established. I gazed at Roger through the portal and opened my mind to his presence.

Roger stood like a mighty sentry on a beam of light. His body was pure energy, and he sparkled like a star. Around his head was a crown of glory that shone as a golden nimbus. The aura was filled with eyes that appeared as emeralds and rubies, and radiated with a brilliance I could not comprehend. The crown was his. I knew he’d earned it, and it could never be taken away.

He was a large and powerful Angel, and appeared quite threatening. His shoulders, neck, and the calves of his legs were enormous. His form was dense and vibrant with an electrifying intensity. Roger’s eyes were kind but his gaze was terrifying. His eyes suggested the essence of pure will and refined reason. They were a shade of hazel I could not imagine. His beard was thick and honey-amber in color, and his hair was cut in Mohawk style. He was naked, and his skin was white and very smooth.

The Nagual had told me that all beings in the celestial realm of mind are naked; this is the natural state of those freed from ego. Roger was awesome to behold yet his face was humble and serene. I sensed the powers of his will were indomitable, and that he could reduce a mountain of solid granite to a mound of powder if he were attacked.

His countenance shone with genuine affection, and he smiled when he saw me. “Hey, Brian, I watched you cross over. What brings you this way?”

“I’m looking for Lord Nagual. Do you know where I can find him?”

Roger laughed. “A Nagual cannot be found, my friend. A Nagual must find you. It is the first step in the chain. It is the law.”

“Where is Camille?” I asked.

“The Lord Nagual sent her to make arrangements. She is far more capable than I am with details.”

I was glad Camille was not present. I was desperate and I felt ashamed because I needed to ask for assistance. I was willing to beg on my knees to save Karen’s life, and I did not want a refined and beautiful feminine ally like Camille to see my weakness.

I’d never contacted Roger before, but the Nagual had told me that I was part of this family and that Roger knew me inside and out. I knew my awareness of this place could dissolve at any moment and I blurted out, “Because you are my friend, Roger, I need to ask you a favor. I would not do so unless I had no other choice. I have never asked anyone for anything.”

Roger continued to smile and remained silent.

“Camille and you are the only friends I have, but if you cannot understand my predicament, then the hell with you. No friends are better than shallow ones.”

Roger laughed and patted my shoulder. He spit a streaming amber bolt of energy that landed on the ground with a splat. The scent of rich sweet tobacco filled the air.

“Well put, my friend. The Lord Nagual is right about you. You have the heart of a noble pork chop.” Roger grinned from ear to ear.

I was totally absorbed in my plea and did not consider his words.

“Perhaps I was wrong to meddle in that which is beyond my understanding. Maybe it’s better to exist within the boundaries of the island and accept the teachings of the elders.”

Roger laughed deeply. “What? You mean live like a spineless idiot shackled to fairy tales and the conditioned impressions of fear, sensation, and ego, for eternity? A mindless coward afraid of your own reason and satisfied to accept any dogma dangled before you without question regardless of its merit? That is not the path of the warrior, my brother. It is the path of fools and slaves who have lost the ability to reason and are content to trade the mind-jewel for temporary illusions.

“If you wish to transcend the ego, you must first destroy the dependence on words and ideas that have shackled you to the wheel of becoming. The Lord Nagual is your friend. I know it does not appear that way, but I assure you, his only concern is your evolution.”

“How can you say that, Roger? Look at what I am. Not even hell wants me, and I’m fettered to a way of life that is a constant battle. I’m a prisoner of something I cannot fathom, and there is no escape from the torment of my reason. I am alienated from all that exists on the canvas of my awareness. I’m absorbed in a mind state no one else can understand.

“If you have no conscience, you can do whatever you want without guilt. I cannot exist like that and I’m about to destroy another life. I long to be insane but I weigh every thought that enters my consciousness. What misery can compare to a man who is disturbed by his own mind?”

Roger’s face grew soft and innocent like that of a child. “It is beyond the authority of my understanding to help you with this, Brian. I would if I could. But if I did, it would be but a temporary respite from the prison of self that confines you. If you desire freedom, you must break through the shell of conditioning.

“What you discover beyond the island will be yours alone and cannot be given to you by another. What is yours is not mine, and though the essence of the Absolute is undifferentiated, no one can evolve vicariously through the mind of another.

“You are complete but you must answer the causes rooted in your past and the forces that bind you to your island. There are many among us who have helped you in every way that we can. You will never know how much we have protected you from disasters that would have killed or destroyed you.

“But the law is clear about this. In the end, it is always just you. Your time on the island will soon expire. I’ll go out on a limb for you, Brian, because I was once like you and I bear the wounds of my ignorance. Behold.”

Roger faced toward the north, and the ivory skin on his back opened like a pane of clear glass to reveal deep, thick scars. The scars were too numerous to count, and they extended to his buttocks and legs and even the back of his neck.

“These wounds are the memories of my previous incarnations,” Roger said. “I choose to carry them with me as a reminder of the glory of self. Each scar is a lifetime of suffering and struggle. If the bones of my previous bodies were piled one atop another, their size would be greater than that of your tallest mountain.”

I stared at the scars with disbelief and I felt great sorrow for my friend. A tear trickled down my cheek. “How did you ever endure such suffering?” I asked.

“We are the same,” Roger said. “I grew enamored in the shimmering mirror of ego and grew enchanted with a path that seemed superior to the sanity of evolution. Once ensnared by the glory of self, my reason began to fade, and I cared for nothing but my own gratification. I did what I had to do to get what I wanted, even if I had to destroy others to obtain it.

“I lost all compassion and I turned my eyes from the Unborn. My only concern was I, me, and mine. Eventually, the voices in me died. I descended ever deeper into the realm of ego. The gateway to the hells is exposed when the love of self reigns supreme.

“After untold suffering, I arrived at an abyss from which there was no return. I was forced to choose my future wheel. I fell on my knees and begged for another chance. It was the turning point. I chose life, and after endless cycles of rebirth, I escaped the island.

“I vowed never to return to a world such as yours. I now do what I can to assist others of a like vibration who struggle for liberation from the prison of Id. To give when asked is a tribute to the Absolute, and it has been revealed to me that the Unborn finds merit in those of use. To draw ever closer to the Unborn is my only desire now, and I seek to serve others in any way I can.

“I chose to help you because you’re a hammerhead like me, Brian. Through many trials, you’ve developed the right stuff. Now that you’re beginning to awaken, you’ve attracted Mara’s attention. When a slave begins to evolve, it causes the Lord of Illusion great distress. Mara will focus on you and attempt to keep you fettered to the wheel of becoming and the shackles of your island. The battle for your mind has been long and painful for everyone involved, but your allies will never abandon or betray you.”

I wanted to believe what Roger said but it seemed I’d been abandoned by the world, and the only peace I’d ever known, I found in solitude.

“How can you say that, Roger? I’ve been alone... always.”

Roger stroked his beard, a look of concern etched on his forehead. He gazed at the pulsating cerulean sky that composed the immense vista of the mind portal. As I studied his form, I saw the embodiment of compassion.

“You had us worried for a while,” he said. “It is true that an ally will never forsake a member of the family, but if a meatball wanders ever deeper into darkness, he becomes invisible to his angels. We can no longer find him. Even the most powerful ally cannot enter into deep darkness. Without the light, an angel will suffocate.

“But the opposite is true, as well, and a malevolent angel cannot enter the light. If one of them tries to penetrate into the light, he falls to the ground and begins to choke and gag. His flesh smolders and deep, charred ulcerations appear in his skin.

“The demonic entity is consumed by a great anguish and crawls back into the darkness. It is forbidden for angels that are not alike to dwell together. This is why those well advanced beyond the island still struggle to evolve ever closer to the light. Its wonder is unimaginable and its beauty infinite.”

“How can a man like me ever know the light after what I’ve had to do to survive?”

Proceed to part 2...

Copyright © 2009 by John W. Steele

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