Floozman: First Episode
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Table of Contents |
| Part 5: A Few Drinks With the Police |
“With a scandalous abundance, he brings deliverance.”
Fred Looseman used to be the head risk assessor at World Wide Credit Corporation and the chairman of the Anti-Money Laundering Commission. Now he works as an automated teller machine repairman.
Sometimes he hears voices, and sometimes what he hears moves him to tears. His bank account overflows with the money of deliverance, and he becomes a financial super-hero: Floozman.
“Let me introduce you to the smartest experts in scientific police work,” says Melanie as she joins the small group waiting for her. She is neat and properly fitting a subdued blue-grey light, as on TV. “Time is of the essence. The financial assets of Banca Nella Figa have exploded! In a few days, the fund has accumulated highly improbable amounts, and there is worse...”
The group sits down on the leather couch beside a young, dark-haired, strong-jawed woman, and they become blue-grey.
“Hullo. Ah, worse?” mumbles Fred, beckoning to the waiter.
“Appleseed is embezzling funds. We found out during our investigation of the insurgents’ financing. The money comes from La Figa, through an integrating circuit that involves the Japanese Mafia, the Caiman Islands, and the Cosmitics labs.”
“Cosmitics? The current number ONE of eternal beauty?” asks Fred, vaguely amused.
“Yes, that’s the idea,” Melanie replies. “Appleseed’s start-up! As you may know, they’ve made staggering breakthroughs in genetic modeling. They have an enormous need of capital for research, but they’ve had a very hard time getting it ever since the industrial conglomerate’s spatial bio control program was frozen.”
“She certainly needs an advanced make-up job,” says Fred. “But frankly, I just don’t care. I’m tired. I don’t even want to know what she’s up to, trafficking with the anti-globalists.”
“All the tracks converge on the leader of the protesters who’ve been occupying the surroundings of the Central Bank since the beginning of the economic summit meeting,” says Melanie. She continues: “They’re the same ones who’re currently camping in the Saverne area, close to Scherwiller, and also in Frankenhausen, to celebrate the famous battles.”
“Pardon me...” The smooth face of the smart, young, bright-eyed policewoman with a strong jaw looms into view. Intense blue-grey signals cross the police officers’ ophthalmic ganglions and toggle on TV mode. In the officers’ visual cortex, an emergent function selects a post-processing close-up with a real-time evaluation taking into account semantic parameters and the dramatic intensity score.
“Inspector Maigret, Department of History. At Frankenhausen, on May 15th, 1525, Philip of Hesse’s armies crushed the peasant revolt led by Thomas Münzer. The battle left about ten thousand dead.” She casts a glance around the table. “Münzer was a millenarist preacher. He made war to free the serfs and bring about the End Time. A sort of revolutionary. Many other battles took place in that year, especially at Scherwiller, where the Duke of Lorraine massacred four thousand peasants.”
“Whatever,” says Melanie, dismissing the matter. “We need you to understand what’s going on at La Figa. I have carte blanche, and I’ve gathered the best experts. I want you to join the team.”
Begin Super Cops Sequence (color saturation: -3; filters: 3, 12, 5; contrast: 4)
Steven Bourrel, age 33, numismatic analysis specialist. Strong personality in spite of his fixation at the anal stage. Very reserved and meticulous. In season eight, we learn that Steven lives with a couple of gerbils and regularly eats their progeny.
Gina Sprinkster, age 24, a former broker, she has an extensive knowledge of financial markets. She is a borderline psychotic, has already been imprisoned for market manipulation, and suffers from a histrionic personality disorder.
Siegfried Siegfried, age 60, Ph.D. in mathematics, ex-KGB agent, captain of the financial squad. His IQ of 505 enables him to solve any problem. He loves crossword puzzles. He begins suffering from incontinence in season four. He would like to declare his love to Gina but does not dare.
Martine “Titine” Maigret, age 35, Ph.D. in History from the University of Toulouse le Mirail, a specialist in the history of banking. She frequents sadomasochist clubs. In season twenty-nine, she asks Siegfried to help help her be admitted to a hospital when she incurs a wound from a misdirected razor.
End Super Cops Sequence (color saturation: 0; filters: off; contrast: 0)
“Wow. Ah... a double whisky, please, and a coffee and a club sandwich,” asks Fred, turning to a waiter who is stunned by the aura of vibrant competency pervading the scene. “You want anything?” Fred says to the company, tossing the question to them with a nod of his head.
“No thanks, not for me,” says Melanie. “How can La Figa generate so much money in so short a time?” Melanie carries on briskly, unfolding her legs decisively and leaning on the low table. “We have recent data: the amounts, Fred! And what sums! The banking system’s computers can hardly store them! To begin with, let’s go back over your report.”
“I can save you time: Appleseed must have put La Figa’s capital back into circulation.”
“La Figa’s capital?!”
“Yes, through the speculative fund.” Fred pauses for a long moment. “You certainly remember that we ordered an investigation into La Figa when I was a member of the research commission on the evolution of money laundering techniques. I don’t know why nothing came of it... and I really don’t care.
“Worldwide Credit’s hostile takeover bid gave me the opportunity to reopen the case from the inside. During the audit, we discovered an inventory: gold, lots of gold, gold from far away... precious gems, works of art, priceless manuscripts, relics, antiques, and curios such as toothpicks dating from the time of King Herod...
“We couldn’t determine where this wealth is physically located. But the most surprising thing is the activity of the fund through which these subsidiary assets are securitized, bought and sold. The fund was created during the Renaissance and was active only sporadically.
“Each phase of the fund’s activity seems to correspond to astronomical profits not recorded on its balance sheet. There were very few clues. I couldn’t find any manager or official who could give me an account of the fund’s operation; no risk model; nothing... besides, maybe a few equations inspired by Pythagoras, I was told...”
“...”
“That sort of thing...”
“Maybe the anti-globalist protesters have been digging for buried treasure in all those tunnels in their camps at Scherwiller,” suggests Siegfried with a twisted smile. “Our informers have reported extensive excavation. Cables have been stripped out. There’ve been new incidents. Of course! We have the explanation!”
“And Appleseed?” asks Gina. “What are we waiting for to lock her up?”
“The police commissioner is expecting our recommendation,” says Melanie wearily. “La Figa’s operations were suspended as of this morning... That should have given us time to think, but against all expectations, cash is still accumulating in the assets we’re monitoring in real time. This is inexplicable! It’s as though money is being conjured up out of thin air!”
“I have evaluated all possible scenarios,” interjects Siegfried, removing his enhanced-reality glasses. “We have nothing to gain by letting Appleseed flee the scene. On the contrary, we have to neutralize her immediately. And it won’t be easy; she’ll fight back. I also think we must secure the Scherwiller camps without delay.”
“Secure?” echoes Steven in a half-anxious, half-sardonic tone.
“The damage could be irreparable,” adds Siegfried. And turning to Melanie: “How come we’ve never heard anything about this treasure?”
At that moment, the waiter suddenly plops the club sandwich, coffee and double whisky onto the table. Martine is startled.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, the restaurant is closed. We are not taking any more orders! The strike is on! The general strike!”
By the bar, a round of applause salutes his gesture. All eyes turn to the crowd forming at the entrance. There is a stir In the hallway beyond. Songs and shouts are heard. Walkie-talkies are buzzing. A helicopter flies low overhead.
“Well, I think we’re going to have trouble,” says Melanie. “Siegfried, transmit our go-ahead for the arrest. Appleseed could take advantage of the confusion and escape for good.”
“As for me, I’ll just finish my sandwich and let you do your work,” says Fred.
“No, we’re leaving for Scherwiller. You’re coming with us. Gina and Steven, you stay here and follow up on Appleseed’s interrogation.”
Fred’s face clouds over. “I can’t. I am expected at dinner with customers. Wisdom Rock...”
“I’ll pay you. Double. It’s not much, is it? How much do you want? Call your boss!”
“I don’t know what I want. Nothing. I’m tired. And you can see there are strikes and riots. Not to mention the curfew.”
“You’re forgetting that we are the police!” Melanie retorts, standing up.
But here comes Jean-Pierre with a determined stride. He greets the policemen, glancing at them mistrustfully, and takes Fred aside. “Here you are! Good. The dinner is still on. I am trying to get a caterer. They know the place. They’ll get through. And all the guests are stuck in the hotel, including the vice-governor — I managed to have him stay for the round table and drinks. This is excellent for networking. I’m counting on you...”
Melanie catches up with them. “I need Mr. Looseman’s services. Urgently. What’s the daily rate?”
“But... we must take the time to discuss this. What are the mission’s objectives? What about its scope, its duration, the modalities? Tomorrow, we can—”
“No, immediately. Siegfried, write a check to Jean-Pierre. Twenty days, at ten thousand dollars a day, with a payment up front. Please fax the contract to my assistant for confirmation.”
“And the dinner... the expenses?”
“All the expenses are paid for by the center! Let’s go.” After a few paces, she turns to Fred: “There, now you are free!”
* * *
To be continued...
Copyright © 2005 by
Bertrand Cayzac
Dépôt S.A.C.D. 174 627
