Rod, Rex and Rhoda

by Bob Brill

The Results Are In

“Metafallazine detected in four out of four cases. Let’s get out of here, Rhoda.”

“Yes, let’s.”

“Come on, Rex. We’re leaving.”

We head for the exit. In the great bird-filled lobby at Rumex Pharmaceutical, we see Alphonse Hollister’s flunky, Jared Pumphrey. He approaches, bringing his perfect posture along.

“Oh, Dr. Blass and friends. Here, doggy. I’ve got some kibble for you.” Rex gets excited, laps up the offering with one giant swipe of his tongue across Pumphrey’s open hand. My mouth waters. For an instant I feel a yen for kibble too. “Dr. Hollister is waiting for you in his office. Let’s go along and see him.”

“All I have are some notes here. I plan to write up my report tonight after a rest and some dinner. We’ve had a long day, Pumphrey.” I don’t trust him, but I still like to say his name.

“He is most anxious to talk to you. He wants your report before you leave the building. Follow me, please.”

“Excuse me, Pumphrey, but surely this can wait till morning. Nurse Dugan and I need a time out.”

Pumphrey raises his arm and makes the peace symbol, but that two-fingered V has a different meaning here. Two armed guards come on the double. Pumphrey orders them to show us the way to Dr. Hollister’s office.

I hear Rex’s low growl. “Take it easy, Rex. Let me deal with this.”

Once we are ushered into Hollister’s presence, Pumphrey dismisses the guards, offers us chairs and our choice of beverages. Rhoda asks for a wine cooler. I follow suit.

Hollister asks to see my notes. I change my order to a shot of Wild Turkey neat and hand him the data capsule. He slots it into his computer and quickly peruses it, lingering only a moment as he inspects the output from the metafallazine tests. “Interesting,” he says. “Of course, this is not what we expected from you. When we came to our agreement, we assumed that you would have the wit to create a more innocuous result.”

“This is just preliminary,” I say. “In order to calibrate the instrument, I had to perform the tests without modification. Tomorrow I’ll come back and give you the result you require.”

“No, I’m afraid not. You and Ms. Vane are off the job. Yes, we know who she is, this Nurse Dugan of yours. She’s Rhoda Vane, a freelance investigative reporter hoping to create a Rumex scandal for some cheap gossip rag. Charming as she is, Dr. Blass, I’m surprised that you have fallen under her spell. You could have had a splendid career with us. Mr. Pumphrey will escort you both to our in-house transporter.” Hollister rises, comes around his desk and whispers to Pumphrey.

The assiduous Mr. Pumphrey shows us a cute little snub-nosed pistol and invites us to accompany him. As we leave, Hollister waves goodbye from the doorway. Pumphrey steers us down a long corridor. Feels like we’re walking the last mile. I know they won’t just let us go. We know too much, although we no longer hold the evidence. Again I hear Rex’s subdued growl. “Easy, pal.”

Pumphrey steers us into a room, shuts the door, and halts us in front of a transporter. The thought smacks me that he means to cook up a transporter accident. Two scrambled eggheads with a bit of pug seasoning. Unthinkable, I think.

Rex leaps up and sinks his teeth into Pumphrey’s hand. Pumphrey howls and drops the gun. I leap too, tumbling Pumphrey to the floor. As we wrestle, Rex growls ferociously and, with his teeth still embedded, shakes his head wildly, like he does with the stuffed toys he likes to tear apart.

“Okay, boys,” Rhoda shouts. “You can stop that now.”

I look up to see Rhoda holding the gun. “Let go, Rex,” I say. “Good dog. Big reward for you later.” Rex releases Pumphrey’s mutilated hand and noses the man’s pockets in search of kibble.

I rise to my feet. Pumphrey sits up and looks at us with tears in his eyes, the very picture of the wronged innocent. I almost feel sorry for him.

We hear voices, footsteps approaching.

“Let’s go,” says Rhoda. We leave the transporter room and run down the corridor, away from the sounds, leaving Pumphrey to nurse his wound.

Proceed to Chapter 9...