You Would Be Surprised

by Aniket Sanyal

You would be surprised at the tricks
I commit with these hands.
You would be surprised at
How many fools,
I’ve made of gods.

I did not have to speak in my Norse tongue
To deliver the lightning Greek

To his fate.

No sphinx ever dared approach me

With cleverness
Or a sarcastic wink.

I rode a carpet to the desert and a merchant
Greeted me with sweets.
You would be amazed.

You would be amazed at the beauty of sprites

That sprout from forested earth.

I myself get drunk with every angel

I meet on the street,
And they never give me exactly what I want.

You would be in tears
  At the dexterity of my human flesh.
The sirens call to me
  Between their flower’s lips.
  Me, a mere mortal!

Imagine what the Great Mother would say!

The ministers are beginning to talk,
I can feel it in my bones and teeth.

I had best be returning home but
If only
Home was either here

Or there.

You would be surprised
With my warrior’s constitution.
I’ve been calling the hotline of the hereafter
For weeks.
I receive no responses, only

Poorly composed music,

In poorly wrapped fruit baskets.

I must have vigilance!

As the Great Mother would say,

Sipping mead in a tavern by the coast,

Entertaining demons

Of all walks of trickery.

You would be surprised with what these eyes have seen
And not seen.
And one of these days,
I do believe,

I shall mix some spice with good advice
And a write a book, perhaps twice.

I’ve arranged an interview with the messenger boy,
Queer little fellow,
With a trumpeter’s face.

He shall take me into the next life,

I am sure,

Upon seeing me, happy as you are sure to be,
With my man’s face and

Roughish grin.

You would be surprised.