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Why Farewell Comes First

by Piyush Pandey

There was a time when I wanted a dog.
I thought I wanted it
Because I was lonely.
And because I needed something to love.

And then I went to a war
With boots and caps and tools to kill.
And when my heart found happiness
In blood and pain and begging eyes,
I knew why I had wanted the dog so much.
I had wanted something
That would surely die
Without the kindness of my heart.

I had wanted meaning.
And I had wanted to raise my worth
In my own sad eyes.

And I look at you tonight
Among smiles, glances, mirrors, lights,
And I want to own you too.
Your eyes, your hair, your smile, your voice.
I could smile at you.
I could speak to you of your loneliness and mine.
Of beauty and fate and immortal love.
And I think you would listen too.
But all that my heart wants, dear,
Is to raise my worth in my own sad eyes
And those of someone who would surely die
Without the kindness of my heart.

So I sit still.
And I think of my worth in my own sad eyes.
I think of wars that pain always wins.
I think of the slow, dark ticking
Of the invisible clock.
And something gently tugs at my soul.

And that is how I leave
A world unbuilt.

Copyright © 2013 by Piyush Pandey

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