Inhabiting the myriad streams
and abandoned rice fields
near the mouth of the Altamaha River
(after which it has been named)
in southeastern Georgia, USA,
Altie swims like a seal,
has two flippers and a diamond-shaped
fluke at the end of his tail.
Often spotted around Darien
and elsewhere in McIntosh County...
He flaps flippers and rolls in the shoals,
does the butterfly and backstroke,
even pokes his horse-head schnoz
and long neck outta the water,
but always has the last laugh — boo yeah!
Local yokels, fishermen, and scientists
are none the wiser about his phylum
or species, for he’s all-green, seldom
seen in his thirty-foot entirety,
doesn’t desport his bod above water for long.
Why not leave him be, let him chase kippers
as he gives us the flipper, blows bubbles
and plays? He’s no threat to us anyway,
doesn’t floss with ship plank or shins,
just grins with his pearly-white pointy teeth.
Alfie Alto maha-ha. Gotcha
in the background of a selfie.
You ain’t no kelpie or monster —
more like an otter doin’ what he oughter.
So bottoms up, and long may you live.
You give us more pleasure than a trunk
of pirate treasure. Cryptid dino
or undiscovered species, it don’t matter
that you get the last laugh. Blow bubbles,
befuddle us; cuddle with your rubber-skinned kin.
