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Around, Once More, with Owmapow

by Channie Greenberg

Part 1 appears in this issue

conclusion


Owmapow:

I did not read your paperwork carefully, but, at a glance, it looks good.

James

* * *

James:

I am not familiar with the protocol for the Finley Institute of Nature. Is there is a Human Resources Department that might have procedures per which I need to abide? Is there a confidentiality clause I need to sign? Is there clearance that I must obtain? Other?

Once the paperwork is signed, I can immediately begin to read current, related studies. Since I have to put closure on others of my projects, at present, I can’t commit to anything more. Also, at the juncture at which I am officially in your employ, I’ll need passwords to medical databases.

I hope that my paperwork can be completed in a timely fashion.

Sincerely,
Owmapow

* * *

James:

Hi! It seems that the next step for you to hire me is for you to contact the Finley Institute of Nature Human Resources Dept.

Sincerely,
Dr. Owen Brownstone

* * *

Dear Dr. Amoeba:

I last time that I heard from you was on Nov. 11. In brief, are you hiring me? If not, please advise, accordingly, so that I can make myself available for other opportunities.

Sincerely,
Dr. Owen Brownstone

Post Script: regardless, I would like to be reimbursed for the work I already completed. In my email to you, of Oct. 11, I quoted you a price of $140.00. Although I worked in greater detail than required, and although I worked for a significantly longer period than two hours, I would like to soon receive, in the least, that figure.

* * *

Dear Owmapow:

I got to talk with Human Resources and found out that the process for hiring a consultant is quite slow and requires paperwork (which I hate). I attached documents for you to fill out.

While we are waiting, I would like to hire you on another paper and would like to pay for it separately. As per the first paper, I did not receive a receipt from you yet. Please send it.

Thanks,
James

* * *

Dear James:

Per my prior free-lance work, I am charging you only $140.00, for two hours, the token amount of time for which I said I’d bill. In actuality, my efforts took closer to twenty hours. The work required not just my response to the writing’s mechanics, but also my response to the paper’s content. In the future, I will have to charge fully for my efforts.

As per the invoice, I am making progress. I do not like free-lance work as much as I like salaried work. As an academic, I am accustomed to letting someone else file my papers and to merely noting when my pay is deposited in my bank account.

.

No matter. Should we reach an employment agreement, I would require an hourly rate of $120.00/hour, for a minimum of 90 hours per month, for at least sixth months.

I would love to work for you. Your research is important to society as well as is fascinating to me!

Owmapow

* * *

Dear Owmapow:

I did not have the time to unearth all of the details, but I believe hiring you as a consultant, rather than as staff, would save me money. Please let me know when you can come over for an interview and to file forms.

James

* * *

James:

Sounds great! Please advise as to when I should arrive. Beyond my forms, do you need anything else?

Owmapow

* * *

Owmapow:

No need to bring anything else. Just try to complete the forms I sent you before your arrival so that I can submit them.

James

* * *

James:

Hi. I filled in my data. Your data (e.g. your signature, official job title, etc.) and Finery Institute of Nature’s data will need to be completed when I am on campus. Would next Monday, at 4:00 p.m., suit you for a meeting?

Owmapow

* * *

Owmapow:

Sounds good. Please call me to confirm the exact timing that morning.

James

* * *

Dear Manny:

How are you?

As per me, during the past few years, I’ve done a bit of teaching and a bit of nonacademic writing. At the moment, I am on the cusp of being hired as a Senior Science Writer at the Finery Institute of Nature, an international science center, as a consultant for Dr. James Amoeba, Department of Neurobiology, Faculty of Biology.

Dr. Amoeba’s work is in the area of pain management. Dr. Amoeba is smart, resourceful, and personable. FIN hired him as one of their Senior Scientists. That smart, nice guy is both well-funded and extremely busy. As such, he needs a science writer.

He expressed an interest in hiring me, but his HR Department wants the usual, requisite papers. Among those papers is a letter of recommendation. Dr. Amoeba already has a sample of my work. At this point, what I need is a credible source, who is willing to testify that I am: a reliable worker, a critical and creative thinker, and a professional communicator.

My responsibilities will include; “conceptualizing, initiating, researching, writing, editing, and revising documents, publications, and other materials on pain management, as needed by Dr. Amoeba and his staff scientists.” I will, in direct communication with Dr. Amoeba’s team, generate and review scientifically-based materials for accuracy, and will develop peer-review journal articles, conference abstracts, presentations, internal background papers, clinical/statistical reports, and study protocols. I also will manage subsequent journal/staff interaction, as well as will coordinate the submission of materials to conference staff and panel organizers. Furthermore, I will “translate” the team’s findings for both lay and technical audiences, into: issue briefs, manuscripts, background papers, web materials and other documents, and will answer Finley Institute of Nature’s staff’s questions about the research findings of Dr. Amoeba’s group.

Would you mind writing a short letter of recommendation for me? I am supposed to bring that document with me when I next meet Dr. Amoeba. However, if you are more comfortable emailing it directly to him, his email address is: J.Amoeba@FIN.edu.

I appreciate your help with this matter.

Owmapow

PS: Meanwhile, I’ve been doing a bit of creative writing. Below are links to some of my recently published short works. I’m a bit stymied getting my book-length collections published.

* * *

Hello Owmapow,

I’m glad to hear that you are pressing ahead with so many activities. I’m including my letter in this email. Of course, Dr. Amoeba will receive my email address, should he wish further communication.

Best!
Manny

Dec. 7, 2027

Dr. James Amoeba
Department of Neurobiology
Faculty of Biology
Finley Institute of Nature

Dear Dr. Amoeba:

I am pleased to serve as a reference for Dr. Owen Brownstone in his application for your position as a Senior Science Writer.

I first met Owen about 20 years ago when our paths often crossed at biology conferences, especially at those focused on oceanic studies. Owen struck me as being a very insightful thinker. Additionally, he was energetic about putting together courses, programs, and research.

I participated in his program “Estuary Beauties,” at the Oceanic Conference on International Studies in Moscow, and on his panel, “Is Water Pollution a Catalyst for Growth?” at the Ecology of Oceans Conference in Zürich. I found him to be thoughtful, efficient, and responsive in prodding participating scholars to execute and complete their speeches in a timely fashion.

I should add that Owen, himself, put together a very innovative treatment of starfish ecology.

As is clear from his CV, Owen has maintained his teaching and professional connections over decades. I am able to attest that he continues to be very well regarded in the field not only as a teacher, but also in view of his original scholarship and his disciplinary leadership. His work is known for its ability to leverage theory and to throw light on practical biological problems.

Please contact me if I may be of further service as a reference.

Sincerely Yours,

J. Manny Novartis
Professor
Department of Environmental Science, Policy & Management
College of Natural Resources
University of California-Berkley
Berkeley, California 94720-5800
510-627-385
drjmnovartis@ucb.edu

* * *

Dear James:

Thank-you for making the time to meet with me. Your work is fascinating. I would love to be part of your team. I could begin work as soon as we reach a contract agreement.

You mentioned a monthly rate. Please realize, as a free-lancer, I need to cover mileage and other expenses. Also, how many hours of work, per month, does your employment include?

Owmapow

* * *

Dear Owmapow:

The figure I quoted you was for the advertised four days per week, six to eight hours per day job. I had hired another person for that position before you applied. I assume I ought to pay you similarly.

James

* * *

James:

I am a little bit confused. In my earlier email to you, I had stated the industry norm, per hour, for free-lancers who are experienced writers and editors. You had agreed to that rate. Nonetheless, you are offering me a wage far below that norm. I would like to work for you, but only if I work for a fair wage.

Owmapow

* * *

Owmapow:

I will process the paper work as agreed. Until then, it will have to be as I wrote earlier. In other words, you will receive “pay per project.” Accordingly, you will have to estimate the net number of hours any specific project will take and then you will have to let me know the total cost according to that rate. I am sure we will come to an agreement.

Best regards, James

* * *

Owmapow:

I am awaiting HR’s reply regarding your first invoice. If they cannot accept it, I will find another way to pay you. In the worst case, I can pay you cash, but you will need to sign some forms to receive that money. In addition, it will not be easy for me to tell the scientific writer that I recruited before you showed up to “go home,” so, you are stuck with piecemeal assignments.

James

* * *

James:

I finally filled out my consulting paperwork. I seem to be lacking FIN’s tax number for that form. Please convey it. Sorry for the long delay in sending you those papers.

Owmapow

* * *

Hi Owen:

I do not know FIN’s tax #. Also, as far as I remember you did not yet send me a bill!!

James

* * *

James:

Please call the appropriate office on your campus and secure the tax number. As for the receipt, you did not like the informal one I issued to you. I cannot create a formal one without an institutional tax number.

Owen

* * *

Marty:

What is the FIN’s tax number for consultants? When you answer me, please cc drowenbrownstone@SCU.edu.

Thanks, James

* * *

Dr. Amoeba:

I have yet to receive any money for the services I rendered to you over a year ago.

Dr. Owen Brownstone

* * *

Owen:

We are waiting for your receipt in order to make any payments.

James


Copyright © 2020 by Channie Greenberg

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