Meredith’s Perfect Boyfriend
by K. A. Williams
I opened my apartment door, stepped inside, and slammed it shut.
“Is there something wrong, Meredith?” asked Bill, my android.
“Men,” I said. “Daniel took me out on a date to a fancy restaurant just so he could break up with me in a public place where I might not cause a scene. Well, I did anyway. I dumped my cheesecake on his head and left. He’s probably still getting cherry sauce out of that expensive hair of his. Does he honestly think people are fooled by those hair transplants? They’re not even the same color as the rest of his hair. He could have at least waited until I’d finished my cheesecake before telling me he was going back to his wife.”
“Can I get you a drink?”
“Please do. At least he didn’t break up with me the week of Valentine’s Day, like my last boyfriend. Why do I always pick married men to fall in love with?”
Bill handed me a glass as I sat down on my sofa. I sipped it. “You always make a perfect vodka martini,” I said, then made a decision. “That’s what I need: a perfect boyfriend. I’ll do it, I have the money.”
“Buy one of those new android boyfriend models.”
“Oh,” Bill said.
“You don’t think I should?”
“Well, they’re not very smart.”
I laughed. “I don’t care how dumb he is, just so he’s loyal.”
“I’ve checked your bank accounts today,” Bill said. “And you’re right; you do have the money to buy one, if it pleases you.”
I put on my virtual headset and went shopping. Bentley made the best androids. I’d try them first and at least get an idea of the price. Dozens of male androids filled my vision. Every race was represented, and the males came in different eye and hair colors.
“It’s time for my upgrade, Meredith,” Bill interrupted.
I took off the headset and regarded him. Bill was a general-service model from Bentley, and they offered periodic upgrades. Bill had been with me for five years. I was enormously pleased with him. He cleaned, cooked and did my shopping and bookkeeping for me, among other things. He had always gotten upgrades that I’d selected before. Yes, time for a change.
“Bill, how would you like to pick out your own upgrade this time? Choose whatever you want.”
Last time I had upgraded his cooking skills, and I rarely ate dinner at a restaurant anymore unless I was there on one of my ill-fated dates. I was curious what he’d pick.
While he was upgrading himself, I put back on the headset and looked at the male androids again. I just couldn’t decide. I felt a tap on my shoulder and switched off the headset.
Bill was standing there with a smile on his face. “So, what upgrade did you get?” I asked.
“The fully functional boyfriend program.”
“Really? I didn’t know Bentley had that upgrade for general-service models,” I said.
“Yes. They don’t advertise it because they’re trying to sell their new boyfriend series.”
I smiled. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, you’re always there when I need you. You’ve already been my perfect boyfriend for five years, I just didn’t realize it.”
Copyright © 2020 by K. A. Williams