Yo, Dorothy, you’re right: down home
Kansas is where you wanna be
in a coming zombie apocalypse!
The Kansas Division of Emergency Management
suggested that October be declared
Zombie Preparedness Month back in 2014!
The bill had the backing of the State Governor
and passed! So this is the place
to park an RV or pitch a tent!
You can pack up ahead of tornadoes,
flee the place if need be,
in an RV or tent; rent is cheap.
There is the heating bill in winter, true,
but no self-respecting zombie’s about
in the freezing cold of a Kansas winter!
Hey, if you can dodge the cyclones
and not get dropped on some
badass bitch into the bargain, you’re good.
Right? You melted the sister;
what’s a little twister? Flying monkeys?
The least of your worries! Believe me!
News flash! Zombies are already dead:
You gotta detach their heads
or decorticate the damned things!
Kansas is ready to send ’em packin’
with an array of toxic gasses and
explosives. Zombies blow up real good.
Too many parts to reassemble.
Hey, you can disassemble zombies
instead of assembling cars in Kansas!
You squished a witch. Now grow wheat
and zap zombies. Kansas will make it
happen. Maybe turn ’em into tires!
