Scott met himself, then wished him away,
Afraid he’d end up a weary cliché.
In the books and the movies, it never ends well
If you put into action what Future You tells.
His doppelganger came to work,
appeared in his backyard.
He sat behind his pew in church
till he caught Scott off-guard.
Settled in for a big Game One,
Present Scott opened a beer.
Then his future emerged from the shadows and frowned:
“They lose in five this year.”
Before he could run, he held himself down,
Saying, “I need to tell you the truth.
Your wife, she was to marry me
When she decided she’d rather have youth.”
The younger man gasped in surprise and said,
“So she cheated on me with me?
I’m torn between jealousy and anger. I wonder
What Dr. Phil’s diagnosis would be.”
“Sad, what happened to him.” The older man winced.
“Forget it, just stick to my plan.
I’m bringing Vanessa, my rightful bride,
Back to where she began.”
“You can’t take my woman,” young Past Scott objected,
“no matter how much it must hurt when rejected.”
The plan was rendered moot
when their woman entered the room.
Present Scott was pleased to see her,
while the Future one plotted his doom.
“Scott!” Vanessa said. “And Scott!
I knew this day would come.”
She shook in trepidation,
but her brain did not go numb.
“Now here’s my plan to straighten this out.
Don’t laugh, just think it through.
Give me one good reason
why I can’t have both of you!”
They happily lived in their union of three;
sharing a woman was seldom a bother.
The problem came with Vanessa’s first child:
which one of the Scotts was the father?
