Butler County, Pennsylvania,
March 2011, a citizen driving
down the highway reports seeing
what he thought at first was
a deer munching on a leafy lunch.
Until an eight-foot tall humanoid
shape stood up from a squat
and hot-footed it across the road.
It had bent legs like a bird
and made the crossing in three steps!
Others reported a head shaped
like a bicycle helmet, sloped
front to back, muscular arms
ending in claws. The Butler Gargoyle
is what folks chose to call it.
More than a few reports came in.
It had wings folded on its back
which reached its human-like ears,
but it had no beak, wasn’t
any kind of bird, that’s for sure.
Scientists couldn’t explain any
of the descriptions away, though
they certainly scoffed at the
suggestion of unknown humanoid.
So what was it then? A Batsquatch?
Mothman? With bird legs, claws?
No. It had that odd-shaped head,
but at least it had a head!
Some alien species from another
planet or dimension on a walkabout?
Maybe it took one look at us and decided:
this place isn’t for me! Too many nasty
critters with bang sticks about. Too many
gawkers and ne’er do wells wanting
a piece of his hide? Maybe. Too bad, though.
It would be nice to think the gargoyle
was intelligent and not some violent
monster here to abscond with one of us,
Maybe if we tried some friendly greeting,
it might have stuck around. But no.
It probably could have survived here,
swooping down on smaller mammals
or scarfing the lush green vegetation.
A carnivore? Herbivore? Omnivore?
Not anything content to squat and leer.
Maybe we look like gargoyles to it.
Maybe we’re not interested in finding
a way to communicate. Maybe we just
want to blast it to kingdom come, stuff it,
or put it in a zoo for other gargoyles to gawk at.
It’s not going to be content
to squat on the ramparts of some
public edifice, either. So it blew
this pop stand. Maybe it had a report
to file on the strange creatures of Earth.
We seem to lack a sense of mirth.
Wear strange costumes. Freak out at
the mere sight of him. Doesn’t sound
like a fun place to be to me. I’d leave.
Take the first interdimensional portal outa here!
