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Women of the Woods

by Vera Searles

Snow White was sick and tired of it all. Sure, the seven of them went off to work whistling. Why wouldn't they? After tucking into that hearty breakfast she had prepared for them, anybody would whistle. She stared glumly at the pile of eggshells that had to be taken to the dump. And then she had to do the dishes and the putting away without any help. The seven were off to their jobs in the forest, leaving her to make their beds and do their laundry and scrub and polish everything. She knew exactly how Cinderella felt.

She ignored the eggshells and sat down with a magazine. The article she read was all about women's lib. It was fascinating. Snow White left the dishes in the sink and went over to Cinderella's house.

Cindy was sweeping the fireplace ashes, and Snow White tapped on the window. “Come outside. I have something to show you.”

Cindy shook her head. “I can't. The old witch will kill me if I don't get this place clean.”

“Only for a minute,” Snow White insisted.

The two sat on the porch steps together, discussing women's lib, and how all men were gross and undeserving of the heavenly attributes of females, and how women far surpass men in brains and talent.

“Holy moley,” said Cindy. “It's another whole world out there.”

Snow White nodded. “Exactly. I'm going to organize us. We will be called the Women of the Woods, WOW for short. No more slavery. Equal pay. We will be taken out to dinner at least once a week.”

“I'm in,” said Cindy. “Look, here comes Red.”

Red Riding Hood was out walking her wolf on a leash, and she stopped to chat. They told her all about WOW.

“I'll join,” said Red. “What about Beauty?”

“Hmm,” murmured Snow. “That'll be a problem. She's been asleep for years. Nobody can wake her up. She's waiting for her prince.”

“We'll send Wolf,” suggested Red. “He wakes me up every morning with kisses and a face wash.”

When they arrived at Beauty's place, Red unleashed Wolf. “Go wake Beauty,” she instructed. Wolf padded up the three dozen stairways to the tower room, jumped on the bed, and kissed Beauty awake.

She sat up and looked around. “Where's my prince?” she asked.

“No more prince,” Snow told her. “We are liberated. We do not need any men. We are self-sufficient and will not be subservient. We are the Women of the Woods and are known as WOW. Join us. You will not need the prince.”

Beauty looked from one to the other, and then at the photo of the prince on her dresser. “You can keep your WOW, and I'll keep mine,” she said, turning over to go back to sleep.

Copyright © 2005 by Bewildering Stories on behalf of the author

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