Approaching Humans: Instructions at a Glance

by Jack Bragen

This guide is offered in a frequently used Earth language, English, for instructional purposes.

If you come from Luhman 16 and want to study “human” specimens on “Earth,” even the sketchiest of research will point to your grave peril. Scientists have been killed or have been forced by circumstances to render permanent damage to test subjects, which is highly regrettable. Aside from that, some of us have found this endeavor to be an exercise in futility. Take heart. In this manual, we will offer a few simple steps that could allow a copacetic, minimized risk, contact experience with this maldeveloped, underdeveloped and yet potentially gifted species.

Without a doubt, you have seen recordings of urban areas on Earth. You might have been baffled. You might have wondered: what are these creatures trying to do? Especially so, when you see them get within their ground transportation vehicles, and when in many cases, they collide with each other or with an object, which often results in being trapped within the vehicle or being maimed or killed in a gruesome manner. And you probably doubt this species has any sense whatsoever!

But please, set aside a mental space for them. Lend out a part of your mind-space so that you have some comprehension of what it must be like to be one of them.

The species “human beings” have produced about one million thermonuclear explosives. This is enough to make their atmosphere uninhabitable by a hundredfold, more than the remainder of the planet’s expected life-supporting period. Does this species strike you as unreasonable? These are but two examples of what we could term: “human idiocy.” And that’s in consensus with inhabitants of the Sirius system, who have made parallel observations.

Please note: This species is obviously maldeveloped and has violent tendencies. And some of the individuals are exceedingly clever. Therefore, this species has he potential to pose a threat and nuisance to the region.

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When they speak in a commonly used language, “English,” they call themselves “Human Beings.” And they believe themselves to be sentient. This describes some individuals. Yet, all except a verified 13 exceptionally conscious individuals on that planet are bound, ultimately, by primitive brain areas, nearly unchanged from earlier stages of evolutionary development. Individuals are often prepared to flee, or even kill, when they feel threatened.

We, as “alien,” “extraterrestrial” visitors, are wholly unfamiliar to them, and this triggers these primitive sections of their brains, which then take over and produce irrational and dangerous responses to our overtures. Yet there are some ways that we can lessen the probabilities of these inappropriate responses and maximize chances of the Earthlings’ employing better areas of consciousness.

In the distant future, our visits could become “normalized.” If most humans believe there is a lot of evidence that we exist, and if most believe that we have a no-harm ethic, it could be a first step to normalizing our visits. They have mass-media communications. If we could become an established part in their mass media, it would help normalize our visits.

However, for this normalization to work, we would have to assume an absence of collective panic. For humans, this is an unlikely stretch. If we show up in the present day, prominently, on their mass media, at least ten percent of humans are likely to go ballistically violent. They would believe we are a hostile entity that wants to invade. That’s a substantial and valid deterrent against any moves for us to become legitimized to Earth inhabitants.

Therefore, we are obliged to continue our visits in the margins, to erase memory of the visits when possible, and not to be acknowledged by the masses. Regardless of how frustrating this is, for now this must be so.

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Subsection 1: Approach during hours of full daylight. Humans are generally the least threatened when they can fully see their surroundings and can see an object or life form that wants to approach. When the darkness of night comes, they would rather be at home in protected surroundings. An entrance into their homes at night makes them feel especially threatened and upset. This reaction is left over from more primitive stages of evolution, in which ancestors of humans lived at a severe disadvantage at night, and that led prehistoric humans to master the use of fire as a tool, and as a weapon against other animals.

Most of Luhman visitors make it a point to avoid daylight visits due to the apparent increased risk. Yet this should change. We must subdue this concern if we are to expect the desired results. No doubt it will cause some brave Luhman visitors to be captured and/or killed. A visitor must assess as an individual whether they feel the risk is worth it.

A scenario took place five light/time units ago, in which a Luhman captured a hostile male specimen. This individual carried a projectile weapon, and the Luhman did not understand how this weapon worked or that it could render harm. A spacecraft of Luhman explorers was fatally injured, and this crew had to be revived by automatic equipment on the spacecraft.

By the time the Luhman crew regained consciousness, the captive had fled, and had somehow survived a substantial drop to the ground, beneath the vehicle which had been hovering on autopilot. The human had left behind the remains of the projectiles within the Luhman vehicle, called “shells,” and had taken some Luhman power units. It remains unknown whether the person who “shot” Luhman crewmembers might have given the power units to cleverer humans for study.

We have since adopted technology which, if stolen by a human, will either deactivate and disintegrate on a timer, or will do so by remote control.

The above-mentioned is an example of how a daylight capture can go wrong. Yet, a night visit almost without exception prevents humans from accessing a significant level of their cognitive ability. It turns out that many above-average humans under good circumstances, are about as clever as Luhman individuals.

Subsection 2: Give the human forewarning of the impending approach. Do this while abiding by Earthling social conventions. For example, an advance “telephone” or “cellphone” communication will help, even if the human believes it is a prank produced by other humans. Members of this species find it threatening to deal with unexpected, new events. A forewarning, even if the human initially believes it isn’t credible, helps prepare the human for contact with us.

The initial “telephone” contact can be highly amusing for all members involved. One human prospective specimen we spoke with was happy to give all manner of information about her species and its customs and had numerous comments on the foibles of humans. It was this individual and not a Luhman who coined the phrase we commonly use: “human idiocy.” The prospective specimen spoke of her medical problems, and this led us to decline abducting the human. Yet, to this day, the individual works for Luhman as a consultant.

When humans adopted rudimentary computers, we began an exchange of communication through the human’s computer messaging. It is not difficult for us to stymie any attempts at tracing by government. Government on Earth is entirely another subject, and we do not have space here to describe it.

Subsection 3.: Minimizing force is essential. When the Earth occupant believes they are in control, this is far less disturbing compared to telepathic or machine-induced restraint. When they feel their cooperation is voluntary, you are far less likely to trigger their adverse reactions. Note: it doesn’t matter whether the aforementioned voluntary status is actual. It is a perfectly valid approach to guide humans by subtle methods and fool them into believing they are fully in control.

Subsection 4.: Make the human feel “appreciated” for their “high intelligence” and “bravery.” This could seem infantile to the reader, but it is highly effective at increasing chances of co-operation. This is related to customs of these mentally maldeveloped yet intelligent organisms. It is an aberration that merits more study. Yet it can be employed to our advantage when apprehending an individual for study.

We abducted a male that worked as a well-publicized gladiator. His sport is called: “Boxing.” The sport involves going into a barriered platform and facing a second gladiator, also known as a boxer. The two “opponents” are expected to slam each other with their gloved hands, to cause damage and distress. Boxers sometimes earn a good amount of currency at this activity. Spectators pay to watch the boxers.

The former gladiator specimen, after meeting with us, decided to work in social reform. We found the human to be exceedingly malleable as soon as we complimented him on his good mind. Others in his past had told him he lacked intelligence. And we do not approve of humans rendering this treatment toward other humans. We found the boxer to be of good intelligence and not deserving a label of “idiot.”

Subsection 5: Offer gifts to the human, even when planning to retrieve the same gift prior to release. Humans respond well to the social gesture of giving something. You can also offer currency or can offer currency manipulation that will make them have more currency. Even while the forementioned is deceptive, it can work to make the human calm down.

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Some Miscellany You Should Know:

Subsection 1.: Ninety or more percent of human individuals are willing to consume killed animal life for their nourishment. This habit could be hideous to Luhman persons. We suggest not getting close to a human when they prepare or consume killed sustenance. There is a Luhman-crafted detection unit we can wear that forewarns us of these unfortunate encounters. We’ve made the design of this device available on your information unit.

Subsection 2: Nearly a hundred percent of humans conceal most of their body parts with clothing. While this is not an unusual humanoid practice for protection from the elements, the vehemence with which they insist on always being covered is unusual. Humans associate removal of garments with preparation to become intimate, to bathe, or to be examined by a doctor. Under any other circumstances, removal of all garments appears to render “embarrassment.” Removal of garments from humans being studied should be minimized, as it can create distress.

Subsection 3: Humans Regularly Kill Other Humans and Destroy Infrastructure in an Organized, Systematic Manner, on a Routine Basis!

This activity, called “war,” is of grim concern to the Luhman Council. If circumstances lead to humans’ gaining understanding of our technology or that of Sirius, it could lead to an interstellar-level disaster. No item that uses technology of any kind is to be left with a human, including times when an individual does not appear mentally bright.

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Conclusions

The human species, if it continues to develop improperly and to expand its technology, is predicted to be not merely a nuisance but a threat to this region of space in the next thousand years.

Secondly: We, in cooperation with Sirius, may opt to develop a plan to rectify development. On the favorable side: they have a good chance at surviving their self-created threat by dismantling their stockpile of atomic explosives.

Thirdly: Approach humans at your own peril. Remember, interstellar agreement of this region dictates that scientists studying humans are not to leave noticeable, substantial injuries, especially that can be recorded and documented. If your subject seems exceedingly destructive and you can’t work with it, put it back and choose another. And try with your best effort to follow all of the guidelines made available for you in this brief. And as humans say: “Best of Luck!”