Minding My Own Business
by Mark Reasoner
Part 1 appears in this issue.
conclusion
“What do you think it was?” Harry asked.
“How should I know?” Marv answered.
“You think it might be Bigfoot?” Harry said.
“Oh, for God’s sake, do not go there!” Marv replied. “Bigfoot isn’t real, and besides, it’s from up in Oregon and Washington.”
“Well, maybe it’s something escaped from Cheyenne Mountain,” Harry said. “Nobody really knows what goes on there, and it’s pretty close by.”
“Harry, you’re an idiot!” Marv replied. “First of all, Cheyenne Mountain is just a command base. Secret, sure, but just a protected Air Force place.”
“No, it’s not, Marv. It’s where they hide all the captured aliens. You know, like in the X-Files. Whatever I saw could have escaped from there.”
“Harry, you’re thinking of Area 51, which is all the way over in Nevada. There’s no way something from there could have made it all the way over here to Colorado.”
“I know what I saw,” Harry said, as if that should conclude the matter.
“Go to sleep, Harry,” Marv said. “We’ll start fresh tomorrow.”
The two creatures settled in, and I did likewise. I hoped I could wait until they were asleep, or whatever, and use the darkness to cover my sneaking back aboard my ship. I know I wouldn’t be any more comfortable there than I was out here, since all the systems were shut down, but at least I would be out of their sight.
While I waited, I looked up some of the things I had heard them talking about. It was ridiculously easy to get into the planet’s information archives and find things. There were even portals dedicated to answering questions. I took advantage.
Bigfoot, I learned, was a legendary creature, supposedly not quite human but also not an “ape” or lower form creature. It was said to roam the mountains in an area northwest of where I was. The thing had another name, Sasquatch, and was described as tall, hairy, and lumbering.
How in the world could my two pursuers mistake me for that? I was anything but hairy. Okay, I am covered in dark brown scales, but I’m as bald as a rock. Nor do I have blazing red eyes. Mine are green.
Bigfoot was also completely fictional, though apparently some still believed it to be real. Right, Harry?
Cheyenne Mountain was just what Marv described. It’s a secure command base built deep in a mountain to be safe from enemy attack. This made me chuckle. Humans were apparently not very advanced in their mechanisms of destruction if they thought putting an important facility underground would work. Just about any other species in the galaxy could blast their way through a mountain to destroy whatever was hidden. Even my people could, though we weren’t interested in doing so.
Area 51 was the most interesting. This was described as a super-secret testing and research facility, where no one knew what really went on. While authorities denied it, a lot of humans speculated that captured alien beings and wrecked spaceships were held, dissected, and tested.
I knew this might really be true. Our records and those of others, show records of previous attempts to contact the beings of P3-Solus235, along with some crashes and other incidents. No one had ever returned; if these previous travelers weren’t all dead, maybe they were being held somewhere. I kind of wished I had the time to check it out. But I had more pressing matters.
The planet’s lone satellite rose in the darkness, shining soft illumination over the clearing. Getting to my ship would be easier, as would keeping an eye on the two sleeping beings across the open area.
I let time pass, but I finally had to make my move. I was shivering in the cold darkness, and while I wouldn’t have any heating aboard my ship, I would have some blanket wraps.
As quietly as I could, I moved away from my hiding spot and made my way quickly across the clearing to where my ship was. At least I hoped it was there. The problem wasn’t that it might have moved, but that I might not remember its exact position. An old instructor had often told us, “Remember where you park.”
When I got near, I reached out to feel for the cloaked vessel. My pod touched metal, and I breathed a silent sigh of relief. Now to open the hatch and get inside. I was worried only about the hissing noise it would make.
I used my remote controller and the lower hatch hissed open. I quickly scrambled inside and closed it again. Fortunately, there was no reaction from my now sleeping pursuers.
I settled in for the wait. I wrapped myself in a blanket and sat in my pilot seat. I strapped on an air bottle and set two alarms. One was on the air bottle to sound when there was only ten percent left. I’d need a little time to replace it.
The second alarm was to notify me when the recharge cycle completed.
I should have slept but was too wired up after escaping from Harry and Marv and after surviving the chill outside. I went back to the computer and tried to learn more about this planet from its own available archives.
I ended up traveling down a spiraling hole into various tales and legends. I learned that the ‘Bigfoot’ my pursuers mentioned had a cousin in the Polar Regions called a ‘Yeti,’ which was also not real. I learned about vampires, werewolves, swamp creatures, a ‘Jersey Devil,’ zombies, ghosts, and even a ‘bat-boy.’ These humans would believe anything!
I fell asleep reading some ghost story, and was awakened by a third alarm while the sky was still dark outside. It was my comm.
5RTQ78 for 3QXR81. Authentication: S-B-L-V-3
Report received and acknowledged by base. Will be at your location soon-before Solus235 reaches mid-point in local sky view. Prepare for beam-tow.
5RTQ78 was a friend and scouting colleague. His name was Melk-un, and he knew what he was doing. He’d have me away in good order.
All I had to do now was continue to wait. The recharge cycle was about seventy percent complete when the light began returning, so I had nothing to do there.
I changed my air bottle and sat down again. I looked out the front viewpane and saw Harry and Marv stir. They stretched, had some sort of food, packed up their gear and moved out toward the tree line. That was good, they’d be out of the way when my ride came.
My comm beeped.
“Hey, Jase,” I heard. “Are you there?”
“I’m here, Melk-un,” I answered. “Ready to go.”
“Good. I have you on my sensors. I’m coming down now. I’ll lock on and get us out of here.”
“Thanks, man. I am so ready to get away from this place.”
Melk-un came in with full thrusters, making noise and blowing everything not rooted into the ground away with his downdraft. I felt my ship begin to move upward.
As we rose above the clearing, I raised Melk-un on the comm.
“I’m still recharging, and on my second air bottle. Would you mind opening your lower hatch and dropping a line down. I can climb up to you.”
“Not a problem,” he responded, “But it will be a little crowded.”
“I know, but I could use some real air. I’ll bring the drinks.”
Melk-un did send the line over. I climbed out of my upper hatch, grabbed the line, and remotely closed my hatch behind me. There I was, openly viewable just hanging out in mid-air just above the tallest trees. I wondered what I looked like from below.
I suppose I looked like something because Harry and Marv came running out of the trees, pointing up at me. They fired more bullets at me, but fortunately, none hit. A couple did ping off the ship, though.
Once safely aboard my friend’s vessel, I went to his cockpit. Melk-un sped up and soon we were away from the planet, back into space, and he set me up in direct light to finish my recharging. He took the opportunity to top off his batteries as well.
“Were those creatures firing on us?” Melk-un asked.
“I’m afraid so,” I answered. “Not very effective, though.” I showed him the welts where bullets had hit me before.
“Those look like they stung,” he said.
“Not bad, but I bet they leave a mark,” I said.
“Even if they don’t, you have a great story to tell.”
Melk-un was right. We decided not to put an outpost on P3-Solus235, but I got many a free drink in various bars with this story.
It got better when I found out what the humans did. A few ages later, I went back to the Solus235 system to finish the survey. I didn’t land on that planet, but did check their databases to see if Harry and Marv had reported what they saw.
Sure enough, I found a record of their sighting with an out-of-focus picture of me climbing up the line to Melk-un’s ship. Move over, Bigfoot; I was now and forever known there as the Colorado Flying Lizard Man.
Copyright © 2024 by Mark Reasoner
