Book Sniffers Anonymous

They meet Saturday mornings
in local libraries
to get their dose — a weekly fix —
for control of the disease.

Jim tells how he used to sniff in school.
Sue tells ignominious tales,
like the day she got ejected
from a church vestry in Wales

for sniffing out the register
of births, marriages and deaths
till she was caught by the verger
inhaling deep, deep breaths.

Some crave the whiff of cookery books,
others savour poetry.
Keith X, the porno king, was caught
with his nose in Lady Chatterly.

Ben zal de hyde’s the new cocaine,
and nobody quite knows why,
but they’re going to do some field research
this year in Hay on Wye.

I’ve never been tempted to indulge.
I prefer computer keys.
Might be the paper mites to blame.
Book-sniffing makes me wheeze.